Single-Tasking

I am the Queen of multi-tasking.

 

And I take great pride in my ability to juggle several things at once.

 

I am nearly always doing at least two or three things at once.  And even when I am doing just one thing, my mind is always elsewhere.

 

I am always busy, always thinking about different things, always focused on several ideas.

 

I hardly ever switch off.

 

And I am exhausted.

 

So I want to learn how to stop.  I want to learn how to slow down.  I want to focus on just one thing at a time.  I want to learn how to still my heart and my mind and my soul.

 

I want to become a competent single-tasker.

 

"Be still and know that I am God."

[Psalm 46:10 NIV]

 

Without moving or doing or thinking, I want to learn what it means to know that God is God.

 

There is definitely a time for multi-tasking and there are definitely things in my life which require this skill.  But my relationship with God is not one of them.

 

I don't want to pray or read the Bible with my mind elsewhere, with my heart elsewhere. I want to learn how to be a fully committed single-tasker. 

 

I imagine it will be uncomfortable and unfamiliar and frustrating at first, as I am so used to multi-tasking. 

 

But it will be worth it, if it means that I really do know that God is God.

 

 

Il Dolce Far Niente

Il dolce far niente.

The sweetness of doing nothing.

I'm always envious of those people who seem to enjoy doing nothing.  Not always doing nothing, but having guilt-free moments of doing nothing.  Just resting, relaxing, enjoying the company of others, or enjoying being by themselves.

 

I am not very good at doing that.

 

I am usually too busy trying to do something, trying to be busy.  Even when I am 'resting', I will be thinking about other things, or I will check my phone, or my emails or do a bit of internet shopping.

 

I am the queen of multi-tasking.

 

I struggle to separate my worth and my value from what I do.  I think that the more I do, the more valuable I will be.  The more God will approve of me.  I struggle to feel valuable or approved when I am doing nothing.

 

But I'm getting better.

 

I'm learning that I am not defined by what I do or don't do, and am allowing myself to have moments of doing nothing.  And to actually enjoy them.

 

I love this verse which talks about being in the moment and forgetting everything else, to enjoy God's presence.

 

"Now listen daughter, don't miss a word: forget your country, put your home behind you.  Be here - the King is wild for you."

 

[Psalm 45:11 MSG]

 

I love this translation.

 

Be here.  The King is wild for you.

 

God is wild for me.  When I am doing nothing.  When I am enjoying doing nothing.

 

Nothing I do changes the way He feels about me.