Running On Empty

I've been feeling run down now for weeks. 

 

I keep tip-toeing to the edge of a full-blown cold/flu/throat infection combo and then, at the last minute, I step back from the brink.

 

Still, whilst I haven't actually succumbed to the bugs, I am exhausted.  I wake up and I feel tired.  I go to bed and I feel tired.  I feel as though I am running on empty.

 

But God doesn't tire.  He is constant and faithful.  And what's more, if we turn to Him and trust in Him, we will not grow tired either.  We will find new strength.

 

 

        "The Lord is the everlasting God,
        the Creator of the ends of the earth.
        He will not grow tired or weary,
        and his understanding no one can fathom.
        He gives strength to the weary
        and increases the power of the weak.
        Even youths grow tired and weary,
        and young men stumble and fall;
        but those who hope in the Lord
        will renew their strength.
        They will soar on wings like eagles;
        they will run and not grow weary,
        they will walk and not be faint."

 

        [Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV]

 

 

When we are running on empty, when we are weak, when we are tired, God will always restore us and lift us up again.

 

 

 

 

Fully Restored

Today I have bought myself yet another shampoo and conditioner that claims to restore my nearly-dead hair.

 

My hair isn't in dreadful condition, but the ends are in a shocking state.  They are split and flyaway and fuzzy.  Today's wind/rain combo left me feeling and looking like Bertha Mason.

 

I'm not sure how much it will help my hair, but I am a sucker for a new product.

 

I am always on the lookout for the next thing that will restore and revitalise my hair, rather than acknowledging that the thing that would help my hair the most would be to stop dyeing it so much or straightening it so regularly.  If I looked after it better, I wouldn't need to spend so much time or money trying to restore it.

 

But rather than fix the real problem, I spend my time and money trying to alleviate the symptoms of the problem.

 

I think in a spiritual way I often chase after different things to 'restore' me too.  Rather than dealing with the 'root' issues (no pun intended), I will chase after things which will make me feel better in the short-term: things that will make me feel confident and secure and happy.

 

Instead, I need to return to God, who promises to fully restore me.

 

I love these Old Testament promises -

 

"The Lord says, “I will give you back what you lost."

 

[Joel 2:25 NLT]

 

and         

 

          "This very day I’m declaring a double bonus—
          everything you lost returned twice-over!"

 

[Zechariah 9:12 MSG]

 

Rather than just dealing with the superficial symptoms of my problems - both hair and spirit-related - I need to go back to their roots and deal with the real causes.  And I need to ask God to come and fully restore me.

 

 

 

Worth Dying For

I read this yesterday and am still reeling;

"Scripture does not call us to change. Scripture calls us to die."

Wow.

On the uncomfortable-scale, this rates pretty highly. You can't really go in for half measures here. You can't be just a little bit dead.

It's all or nothing.

But why?

Why must we die? Why not just alter ourselves little by little? It doesn't need to be that drastic, does it?

Well, yes.

If we want to enter into the fullness of life that God promises us, we need to stop living our own 'full' lives. We need to acknowledge that we cannot be full or complete in our own strength or by our own efforts. We can only find this fullness in God.

And what's more, this 'new' life from God will be beyond anything we can imagine right now.

I'm not sure why, but it's pretty easy to imagine God as some sort of cosmic killjoy and to imagine that His version of a 'new' life would be dull and boring and the exact opposite of what I would hope for.

But I am beginning to believe that maybe, just maybe, God's version of a full life might be better than my own.

"So don't you see that we don't owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God's Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go! This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children."

[Romans 8:12-16 MSG]

 

Now that's worth dying for.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

I've always wondered why 'Nice' biscuits are called 'Nice'.

 

Apparently they were originally made in the French city of Nice, and were called 'Fait a Nice' biscuits.  However, this name was considered too long and so it was shortened to 'Nice'.

 

I think it would be really helpful if all food was labelled in the same way.  You would know before giving it a go whether or not it would be tasty.  Sprouts, for example, could be labelled 'inedible' and save us all a lot of time.

 

I sometimes think it would be helpful if situations or events in life, or jobs, or people had similar labels, too.  It would be clear whether or not to apply for a job or who to trust.  You could easily sort out the 'good' and the 'bad' in life.

 

But, unfortunately life doesn't come with labels. 

 

The Bible says that the only real way that we can tell what people are like is by looking at their actions.  Our actions are our labels. 

 

"Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions."

 

[Matthew 7:20 NLT] 

 

Our actions are the 'fruit' in our lives, the things by which we can be identified.  Our actions are the things that people will remember.  They will last longer in the minds of others than the things we say.

Actions speak louder than words. 

 

What are you saying?

 

 

 

The Importance Of Hemming

In my recent sewing endeavours, I have learnt the importance of hemming. 

 

In order to prevent fabric fraying and carefully stitched seams peeling away from each other, it is essential to ensure that the fabric is first hemmed. 

 

I have learnt this the hard way.

 

I have been thinking a lot about Psalm 139 today and one of my favourite verses in it which describes God is this -

 

"You hem me in—behind and before."

[Psalm 139:5 NIV]

 

I love the idea of God being both behind me and in front of me.  I am covered on all sides.  He is literally guarding my back and protecting me out front.  He is in my past and in my future.

 

Inescapable.

 

Rather than making me feel claustrophobic and trapped by this idea that God surrounds me, it makes me feel safe and secure.  I am surrounded on all sides by a God who loves me, protects me, defends me, cares for me, fights for me, is passionate about me, is kind and gentle towards me and who delights in me.

 

And so, like my now-hemmed sewing, I will not fray.  I won't come apart at the seams, because God surrounds me.

H

God hems me in.  Behind and before.

 

Heart of Worship

I have spent this evening working on writing worship songs with some friends.

 

We have had a brilliant evening playing around with words and melodies and meanings.  And we have produced something with which we are all really pleased.

 

At one point in the evening we were wrestling with an awkward line which didn't seem to fit, but which we didn't want to lose.

 

It felt as though we were struggling and trying too hard to make something fit, that it became a bit artificial.  It was no longer an outpouring of our hearts: our syllable-counting, make-it-rhyme, neat-and-tidy minds got in the way.

 

We played around with it for a bit and then just left it for a while and started just singing what was on our hearts. 

 

And in all of that, we refocused on what was important - on what we were singing and why we were singing it and, most importantly, to whom we were singing.

 

And as we sang, the line made sense.  It fitted.  Without forcing or coercion.  We realised what mattered more was what was on our hearts. 

 

Becasue our worship and praise to God should be a response from the heart

 

"For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."

 

[Luke 6:45 NIV]

 

As Matt Redman sang,

 

"I'm coming back to the heart of worship

And it's all about you

It's all about you, Jesus."

 

 

The heart of worship is the worship of our hearts.

 

It's all about Him.  And it's all for Him.

 

 

 

The Bigger Picture

I can't stand recipe books which don't include pictures of the finished product.

 

I am sold on the image and if I can't see what it is I am meant to be making, I am unlikely to bother cooking the recipe.  Some of my proudest moments (seriously) have included photographing my finished meal/dish in front of the recipe book propped open at the appropriate page to show just how accurately I have managed to follow the recipe and replicate the end product.

 

If I don't know what it's meant to look like, how am I meant to make it?

 

In the same way, I wrote yesterday about jigsaw pieces and it got me to thinking how irritating it is to try to complete a jigsaw puzzle when you don't actually know what the picture is you're trying to copy.

 

I don't cope very well with not knowing where life is heading - not being able to see the picture I'm aiming for.

 

If I can't see the picture, how do I know if I'm doing it right?

 

I'm beginning to see how narrow my view of life is in this way: maybe I don't need to know the plan all of the time.  Maybe I don't need to see the 'bigger picture' before I start living.  Maybe there isn't one 'right' or 'perfect' way to live it.

 

In Jeremiah, God says,

"I know what I'm doing, I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."

 

[Jeremiah 29:11 MSG]

 

Subconsciously, I have always added a few lines to this verse.  I have included the fact that not only does God have good plans for us, but that He will reveal these good plans.  I seem to imagine that I am somehow 'entitled' to know all of His plans.

 

But maybe I'm not.  Maybe I don't need to see the bigger picture, because God can.

 

 

 

Fitting The Pieces Together

I don't particularly enjoy jigsaw puzzles.  I don't have the patience.

 

I find it endlessly frustrating to pick up a piece, try it in all the available spaces, rotate it in every possible way, and finally put it back down to begin the process again with a different piece.

 

If I had someone on hand to try out all of the pieces and tell me where to put them in, that could work.

 

Sometimes life can feel a bit like this - we spend a lot of time trying to work out where and how we fit in.

 

We try ourselves out in different places and different spaces.  We squeeze ourselves and rotate ourselves and try to find where we belong.

 

I often like to think of myself - and hope other people see me - as a jigsaw piece with four sticky-out bits (is there a technical word for them?!  Knobbles?)  I have plenty to offer.  I like to be needed.  I like to help. 

 

I am not so comfortable with being the sort of jigsaw piece which has gaps and holes.  I'd rather people didn't see my weaknesses, my vulnerabilities.  I'd rather not 'need' other people.

 

But God is showing me how true connection, real relationship, comes from acknowledging these weaknesses and vulnerabilities.  It comes from exposing and accepting the fact that I am not self-sufficient.  I need other people.

 

The Bible talks about this needing each other, and describes the way that God is fitting us all together:

 

"He’s using us all — irrespective of how we got here — in what he is building.  He used the apostles and prophets for the foundation.  Now he’s using you, fitting you in brick by brick, stone by stone, with Christ Jesus as the cornerstone that holds all the parts together.  We see it taking shape day after day—a holy temple built by God, all of us built into it, a temple in which God is quite at home."

 

[Ephesians 2:20-22 MSG] 

 

The thing with jigsaw pieces is that not one of them is four sides of edge.  They all need something else to complete them.  And it's the same with us.  We are not complete on our own. 

We all strengths and weaknesses.  We all have powers and vulnerabilities.  And we all need each other.


 

 

 

The Frustrations Of Unpredictable Weather

I have found the inconsistencies and unpredictabilities of the recent weather forecasts irritating.  Where snow is concerned, I want to know if I can get excited about it or not.

 

I'm not interested in "maybe" or "possibly" so far as the weather is concerned.  I don't want a percentage of the likelihood of snow or rain or sleet.  I want the actual facts.  I want to know what to expect.

 

Guessing is no use to me.

 

It's a bit like in one of Michael McIntyre's sketches where he says how whenever you ask someone for the time, if they don't know, they will still guess.  I think it's about three.

 

He says, I didn't ask you to guess the time.  I can do that myself.

 

Similarly, I don't need a weather forecast to guess the weather.  I can do that myself.

 

I appreciate that predicting the weather isn't that straightforward or predictable, so no matter how much I want to know for definite what the weather is doing, that won't happen.

 

Still, it would be useful wouldn't it? 

 

You'd know what shoes/coat to wear.  You'd know whether to bother straightening your hair or, more importantly, not to waste time straightening it if it is soon to face the rain.

 

It would make planning for life much easier.

 

But unfortunately, it is not possible.

 

I suppose the weather forecast is an act of faith: will we believe it or not? 

 

Similarly, our walk with God is an act of faith: I don't always know what's going to happen in my life.  I am not perfectly prepared for every eventuality.  But I don't need to be when I'm trusting in God.

 

Faith isn't so much about what you can see, but about what you choose to see and about who you trust to show you.

 

"Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see."

 

[Hebrews 11:1 NLT]
 

I will never get the perfect weather forecast that tells me exactly what I want to know.  There will always be an element of faith and trust involved.  And, this side of heaven, I will never get to know for sure what God is planning on doing in my life - I will never have the perfect 'life forecast'. 

But whilst I don't know what might happen, I know the One who knows.  And that's enough for me.

 

 

 

 

 

Reduced Visibility

I find driving when it's snowing really quite relaxing. 

 

Not when there's snow or ice on the roads, but just when it happens to be snowing.  I find the falling flakes completely mesmerising as they drift to the ground.  I'm not sure why, but I find it quite calming and soothing.

 

Of course, there is the fact that you can't see very well and therefore have to drive at half the speed you usually would.

 

Every time I stopped at traffic lights, I enjoyed pausing to look up and watch the flakes falling. But as soon as we started moving again, I kept my eyes firmly fixed on the tail lights of the car ahead and let them guide me through the darkening streets. 

 

The Bible advises this in a spiritual sense too,

 

       "Look straight ahead,
       and fix your eyes on what lies before you.
       Mark out a straight path for your feet;
       stay on the safe path.

       Don’t get sidetracked;
       keep your feet from following evil."

 

       [Proverbs 4:25-27 NLT]

 

 

Rather than allowing ourselves to be distracted or mesmerised by things on the sidelines, we should keep our focus fixed on what lies before us.

 

And although there will always be distractions, although we won't get to see things clearly, although we won't get to understand and see things the way God does yet, we will.

 

"We don’t yet see things clearly.  We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist.  But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!"

[1 Corinthians 13:12]

 

 

 

Hold On Tight

I've been one of those wallies in wellies today.

 

Yes, I looked silly, but I thought I would have looked even sillier if I had fallen on the ice. 

 

Yesterday I found myself clinging on to some helpfully placed railings as I skated along the pavement.  It reminded me of my traumatising ice-skating experiences as a child which were mostly spent gripping onto the edge of the rink and edging my way round.

 

Even in wellies, I have been slipping and sliding all over the place today: it has been very risky underfoot. It has been difficult to get a grip.

 

In the same way, it can sometimes feel a bit slippery underfoot in a spiritual sense, too.  It can feel as though you are sliding out of control and can't quite get a grip on anything.

 

The Bible describes God's love as being what will hold us steady when the ground is slippery:

 

         "The minute I said, 'I’m slipping, I’m falling,
         your love, God, took hold and held me fast."

 

        [Psalm 94:18 MSG]

 

 

This verse doesn't say that God made the ground smooth, or that He took away the 'slipperiness'.  Instead, He promises to hold our hands tightly as we walk over the slippery parts of life.

 

So that rather than clinging onto the edge of the ice-rink of life, we can let go and trust in God's love which will always keep a tight hold on us.

 

 

 

Believing Is Seeing

I caught the second half of the film 'Loch Ness' this afternoon. 

 

I remember loving it as a child.  It follows an American scientist who is sent to Scotland to investigate the existence (or non-existence as he believes), of the Loch Ness monster.

 

At one point, as he is beginning to come round to the idea of the monster's existence, he says to one of the characters: "I want to see it so I can believe, too."  But she replies, "No.  You have to believe it to see it."

 

So often we can get caught up in the same cycle in our walks with God.

 

We want God to prove something to us before we believe it.  We want evidence before we will accept it.  We want to know that we can trust Him to provide if we give up our money.  We want to know what His plans are for our futures before we 'agree' to them.  We want to know if He'll answer our prayers before we bother praying.

 

But the Bible says,

 

"We live by faith, not by sight."

 

[2 Corinthians 5:7 NIV]

 

And in another translation, this same verse reads,

 

"It's what we trust in but don't yet see that keeps us going."

 

[2 Corinthians 5:7 MSG]

 

 

It would be wonderfully helpful to know and see everything that might develop and unfold in my future before deciding to trust in God.  It would be excellent to see the truths about Him being faithful and reliable before I decide to put my hope in Him.

 

But unfortunately, that's not the way faith works.

 

Sometimes we have to believe in order to see.

 

Sometimes believing is seeing.

 

 

 

 

 

Making Old Things New

I have spent a lovely afternoon making all things crafty. 

 

I love taking old things and giving them a new lease of life.  I love finding new things to do with them: painting them, decorating them, embellishing them, unpicking them, restitching them, reshaping them.  The list goes on.

 

There has been a trend in recent years for 'upcycling' (improving and 'prettifying' old things), and creating gifts and crafts from old materials.  And many gift shops and websites have sprung up which celebrate this process.

 

I love creating something, but I especially love it when I am taking something old and am giving it a new lease of life.  There is something really satisfying in giving new life to something which appears 'past it', or which appears to have no real use.

 

I love making things new.

 

I think that God understands this and feels the same.  He is Creator God, but He is also Recreator God.  In Revelation he says,

 

“I am making everything new!” 

[Revelation 21:5 NIV]

 

No matter how 'past it' we may feel, no matter what we have lost along the way, no matter what state we are in, He can make us new.  He unpicks us and restitches us, He cleans us up and gives us a fresh coat of paint.  He gives us a new lease of life.

 

He makes us new.

 

 

 

The Beauty Of Snow

It finally snowed!

 

And snowed and snowed and snowed and snowed and snowed.

 

I got up at 5 to check this morning and was delighted with the sight.

 

I absolutely love the snow.  I love the scrunching crunch of it under your feet as you walk.  I love that it slows the world down and gives us the chance to relax and reflect.  I love how quiet and hushed everything becomes, how everything is muted.  I love that it brings people together to build snowmen and have snowball fights. 

 

But most of all, I love how beautiful the world looks when it is covered in a thick layer of soft snow.

 

Wilhelmina in Ugly Betty says,

 

"Snow is a magical blanket, it hides what's ugly and makes everything beautiful."

 

Snow can make even the ugliest of sights look beautiful.  There is a huge, towering scrap yard a few roads away from my flat, which usually looks pretty monstrous.  But today, even that was transformed into something magical.

 

The Bible describes God's grace as being like snow:

 

 

         "This is God’s Message:
         'If your sins are blood-red,
         they’ll be snow-white.
         If they’re red like crimson,
         they’ll be like wool.'"

 

         [Isaiah 1:18 MSG]

But rather than just covering over the ugliness of life, and hiding it for a while, as snow does, God's grace transforms everything it touches.  So that when it melts away, what is left is more beautiful than before.

Let It Snow

This time, it really might snow.

 

I am beyond excited at the possibility.

 

I have been checking a variety of weather reports throughout the day - apparently it should reach us early tomorrow morning, around 5 o'clock.  I am seriously considering setting my alarm for 5, just so I can look out to see if it really has snowed this time.

 

All of this excitement and eager anticipation has made me think about how eagerly I anticipate the things that God is doing in my life or the lives of others, or how excited I get about it all.

 

If I'm honest, I'm probably more excited about the snow.

 

But the Bible urges us to be excited and expectant:

 

"This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life.  It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike 'What’s next, Papa?'  God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are.  We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance!"

 

[Romans 8:15-16 MSG, emphasis mine]

 

Maybe I'm more excited by the snow, because it's something clearly visible.  It's either snowed or it hasn't, there is no middle ground.  But when it comes to working out what God's doing in my life, I'm not always so sure.  It's not always so black and white.

 

But perhaps that's because I'm not really looking out for it.  Perhaps that's because I couldn't often describe my attitude as being 'adventurously expectant'.  I don't read my Bible as often as I've been checking weather reports today - checking for regular updates.  I dont' often lose sleep over what God might be doing next.  I don't often set my alarm early just to see if God wants to speak anything into my life.  In fact, I never set my alarm early to see if God wants to speak into my life.

 

But I wonder what might happen if I did.  I wonder what might happen if I was as excited and eager and expectant about God moving in my life as I am about the snow.

 

If I really asked God, "What's next, Papa?"  I wonder what might just happen.

 

 

Speak Up

Today, I have been without a voice.

I have got some sort of virus or infection and woke up with swollen, bright red tonsils and an inability to swallow or speak properly.

 

I can talk a bit now, but my throat's still quite sore and dry.

 

Not being able to talk properly was horrible.  I have had all of these thoughts and feelings and it feels as though they have been stuck in my throat.

 

I have been voiceless.

 

The Bible talks about those who are 'voiceless' too - about those who cannot say what they want to, or to whom no one listens.  They are the overlooked, the poor, the abandoned, the rejected.  They have been stripped of their voices and the Bible tells us that we should stand up and speak up for them.

 

        "Speak out on behalf of the voiceless,
        and for the rights of all who are vulnerable.

        Speak out in order to judge with righteousness
        and to defend the needy and the poor."

 

        [Proverbs 31:8-9 CEB]

 

 

I have been without a voice for a day, but some are voiceless for the whole of their lives. Some people never have anyone to speak up for them or stand up for them.

 

When we think of those who are 'voiceless' we imagine distant, poorer countries.  We think of strangers.  But there will be people in our own lives who don't feel listened to, who don't feel understood, who don't feel they have a voice.  And they desperately need to know that someone hears them and that someone cares. 

 

They need us to be their voice.

 

They need us to speak up.

 

 

 

 

 

Do Not Be Afraid

The phrase "Do not fear" or "Do not be afraid" is apparently repeated 366 times in the Bible.  I can't say I've checked, but that's certainly a great many times.

 

I wish that I could see it as more than just a suggestion.  I wish it was a permanent reality in my life.

 

But so often I find myself worried or anxious or fearful about a whole range of things - many of which are probably out of my control anyway.

 

One of my favourite Bible verses is about this very thing.  I've set it as the screen lock on my phone so that every time I unlock my phone, I am reminded of this truth that there is no need to fear:

 

"Don't panic.  I'm with you.  There's no need to fear for I'm your God.  I'll give you strength.  I'll help you.  I'll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you."

 

[Isaiah 41:10 MSG]

 

 

I suppose the point is not that there is nothing to fear, but rather that there is One who is greater than the fear, who will always be with us.

 

I love the words in this song, 'Come To Me' -

 

I am the Lord your God,
I go before you now.
I stand beside you
I’m all around you
And though you feel I’m far away
I’m closer than your breath
I am with you
More than you know

I am the Lord your peace
No evil will conquer you
Steady now your heart and mind
Come into my rest
And oh, let your faith arise
And lift up your weary head
I am with you
Wherever you go

Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m everything
Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m your everything

I am your anchor, in the wind and the waves
And I am your steadfast, so don’t be afraid
Though your heart and flesh may fail you
I’m your faithful strength
And I am with you
Wherever you go

Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m your everything
Come to me, I’m all you need
Come to me, I’m your everything

 

 

 

We need not fear if He is on our side.

Handmade Tales

More sewing tales today.

I have put the cushion cover on hold until I have figured quite what I am doing with it, but I have spent the evening instead making a beautiful roll-up craft case for knitting needles, pens/pencils, sewing equipment etc.

Again, I wasn't following a pattern, so I just sort of made it up as I went along.

However, I am so proud of the finished product and so pleased.  It looks really good, as if I have bought it, rather than sewing it myself.
 

There are wonky stitches and a few bits which frayed and so I had to sew over them a few times.  There are a few bits where I could perhaps have used a different colour thread so the stitching isn’t so obvious.  But in the main, I am really proud of my creation.

 

It is not perfect, but I made it and I’m delighted with it.

 

I have been reflecting on the delight (and, if I’m honest, amazement as I never really believed I could learn to use a sewing machine and actually make things halfway decent), that I feel and thinking about it illustrates God’s delight in us – His creations.

 

We are not perfect in and of ourselves – we are ‘frayed round the edges’ – but in His sight and through His purifying love, we become perfect.

 

I love that no one else has sewn what I’ve made either: it is completely unique.  One of a kind.

 

I love this verse in Ephesians,

 

“For we are God’s masterpiece.”

 

[Ephesians 2:10 NLT]

 

Not, we are God’s first draft, or God’s quick sketch, or God’s doodle.   We are His carefully constructed, well-thought-out, planned, perfected, delightful hand-made masterpieces.

 

I am so proud of my sewing, I can’t stop looking at it and marvelling and smiling and feeling so proud that I made it.

And that’s just how God feels every time He looks at us.

 

Make Your Own Pattern

Thanks to the very kind donation of a large amount of Cath Kidston fabric from a lovely lady at church this morning, I have spent the afternoon attempting to make a cushion cover.

 

I have a vague idea of what I am doing, although I managed to cut the pieces too small to begin with.  I have cut and hemmed most of the pieces of fabric and have pinned most of the big bits together.  However, I haven't made an easy job for myself as I am making the pattern up and have included a contrasting fabric (which I have trimmed with lace), along the sides.

 

I have been staring at the different pieces for a good half hour wondering how best to proceed with the actual arranging and assembling of the finished piece.  The easiest option would simply to be to stitch everything to the cushion inner, but it would hardly be a cushion 'cover'.

 

It feels a bit like trying to complete a jigsaw puzzle with no box to copy the picture from, and no idea if you have all of the right pieces.

 

Still, I have been enjoying myself.

 

Sometimes my life can feel a bit like this, too.  I have lots of different pieces and sections and I'm not sure which is the front or the back, or which bits should be joined to others.  My life often feels fragmented and disjointed and I wish there was an easy pattern to follow.

 

But the lovely thing about not really following a pattern is that I am making a cushion cover that no one else has made before.  It will be completely unique.  And in the same way, I am living a life that no one else has lived before.

 

I am making my own pattern.

 

Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans,

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

 

[Romans 12:2 NIV] 

 

When we try and follow the pattern of the world, or the pattern that someone else is following, we lose ourselves - our originality and uniqueness.

Make your own pattern.