If At First You Don't Succeed...

When I was at school, I used to hate making mistakes in my exercise books: if I spelt something incorrectly or got the wrong answers, I used to cross it out really well, so that nothing could be seen.

 

I didn't want anyone else - or even myself - to see my mistakes.

 

And sometimes I do the same in life - in my mind, I scribble out the things that I don't want to see, the mistakes that I'm embarrassed about, or ashamed of.

 

But I was really challenged this week when I was marking some exercise books and found one student had labelled her work "Try 1" and then, when that hadn't gone quite as she had hoped, she had simply written underneath "Try 2" and had rewritten her ideas and improved them. 

 

In one case, there was even a "Try 3".

 

She hadn't minded me, or anyone else, seeing her mistakes.  She hadn't tried to hide them, or to cross them out.  She was happy for me to see that she had had a go and had kept working to improve her writing. 

 

She was happy to try again.

 

We've all heard the phrase If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again.  But how many of us actually like people seeing us not succeeding, or trying again and again?  How many of us are brave enough and secure enough in ourselves to let people see "Try 1", "Try 2", "Try 3" etc.?

 

Many of us, when we know we have 'failed' or have fallen short of our own expectations, want to hide. 

"I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid."

 

[Genesis 3:10 NIV]

 

When we feel embarrassed or ashamed of our failings, we hide.  But we don't need to hide.  We don't need to fear.  If we trust in God and His love for us, our fear will we wiped away.

 

"There is no room in love for fear.  Well-formed love banishes fear.  Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love."
 

[1 John 4:18 MSG] 
 

We no longer need to fear or to hide.  Instead, we can let people see our efforts and our failures and our successes.  We can show people our "Try 1" and our "Try 2" and our "Try 3" and so on, because we are secure in ourselves and in our God's love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's Not Me, It's You

It's not you, it's me.

 

And so ends many a film or TV relationship.  Unable to compromise and make things work, a couple will break up, with one person uttering these infamous words and blaming the breakdown of the relationship on their own failures and shortcomings.

 

We seem to apply the same idea to a relationship with God, too.  We seem to think that God's love is influenced by our failures and shortcomings.  We think it is dependent on who we are and what we've done or not done.  We seem to think that we can alter His opinion of us by doing the right thing.

 

But having a list of 'dos and 'do nots' is religion.  Not relationship.

 

When it comes to a relationship with God, it's not about me.

 

When it comes to God's love, it's not about us or what we do or don't do.  It's about Him.

 

I recently read or heard (I can't remember which and, annoyingly, I can't remember where), an argument between two people about whether or not God could and would love them.  One of them said, "But you don't know me.  God couldn't love me.  Not after everything I've done."

 

This is something that many of us can relate to - it resounds deeply inside us.  You don't really know me - you don't know what I'm like.  If God knows everything about me, then He couldn't love me.  I'm not good enough.

 

But the second person in the above argument replied brilliantly: "You're right, I don't know you at all.  But I don't need to.  I know God.  And I know that He's a God who loves us relentlessly."

 

When it comes to a relationship with God, it starts and ends with Him.

"We love because He first loved us."

 

[1 John 4:19 NIV]

And

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

[1 John 4:9-10 NIV]

 

It doesn't start with us, and it doesn't depend on us.

 

It's not me.  It's You.

 

 

 

 

 

Do I Really Want To Be A Christian?

Whenever I say the words, "I'm a Christian," in my mind, I can't help silently adding "... Get me out of here!"

 

I blame ITV and the popular programme "I'm a Celebrity".

 

I am a Christian (Get me out of here!), but I don't know that I like the label 'Christian'.  Not because I want to hide what I believe or disguise it somehow, but because over time the word has become corrupted.

 

I think the meaning of 'Christian' is stuck in the 70s: long, untamed hair; rainbow guitar straps; rainbow/tie-dyed t-shirts; the iconic socks-and-sandals combo; people who are overly polite and yet hypocritical; incredibly judgmental and narrow-minded; and yet something of a pushover at the same time.

 

Think the ever-chipper, "Hi-diddly-doodly neighbours!" Ned Flanders in The Simpsons.

 

 

Someone detached from reality and a laughing-stock to most who know him.

 

And I find myself asking Do I really want to be a Christian?

 

If that is what being a Christian looks like, I'm out.

 

And what's more, this image of Christianity - of being a Christian - bears no resemblance whatsoever to Christ - the reason for our faith.

 

I love Jesus because He wasn't a Christian and He wasn't anything like the stereotype we have come to associate with the word "Christian" either.

 

He wasn't polite: He cared more about sharing life-giving truth with people than upsetting their feelings.  He wasn't hypocritical: He literally practised what He preached and loved people as He taught us to.  He wasn't judgmental and narrow-minded: in fact, He was accused of being too liberal by the religious leaders of His time.  He ate with prostitutes and let them wash His feet; He invited a scheming, friendless tax-collector for tea; He crossed social and religious and geographical boundaries when He chatted to a promiscuous, unmarried woman from Samaria.  He healed people who were sick or dying, regardless of whether it was the day of rest.

 

He valued people. 

 

Above all else, He loved and valued and cared for the people He came into contact with. 

 

He wasn't confined by rules or guidelines or rituals.  He was governed and motivated by love.

 

He wasn't controlled by religion.  He was moved by relationship.

 

That's what I want my life to look like, too.  Not the bad-hair, 70's style, stereotypical "Christian", but a life modelled on Christ.  A life which, like His, is motivated by relationship and governed by love.

 

"This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him.  This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God.  My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other.  No one has seen God, ever.  But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!"

 

[1 John 4:8-12 MSG]