Winning And Losing

I hate losing.

 

I'm hugely competitive and, although I'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be, I will still probably sulk for a while if I lose a board game or a card game.

 

I have been thinking about this a lot over the past few days, as I have realised that a lot of my competitiveness links in with a desire to be the best, to always be number one.  To be the winner.  And so I feel insecure when I think I am in competition with someone else and I might not win.

 

But over the last day or so, God has been showing me how I don't need to see myself as competing with anyone. 

 

In the competition for being me, I win.

 

Paul reminds us of this in Romans when he writes,

"So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t."

 

[Romans 12:6 MSG] 

 

Rather than looking to the people around me and comparing myself to them, or feeling as though I am competing with them, I want to discover what it really means to be me.  I want to know what it means to be the person that God made me to be and I want to grow more and more into that person.

 

 

 

Who Am I?

I've been rewatching one of my favourite American soaps over the past few days: Ugly Betty.  In one episode, Amanda is trying to find her birth father, after discovering that she is adopted.  She says that she will struggle to know who she is until she knows who her father is.  She says, If I don't know where I've come from, how can I know who I am?

 

I think it's the same with us sometimes: we don't really know where or who we've come from and, therefore, we don't really know who we are.

 

But Jesus was confident about who He was and where He had come from.  He knew to whom He belonged.

 

This is one of my most favourite verses in the Bible:

"Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God."
 

[John 13:3 NIV]

 
Jesus was completely confident of who He was, where He had come from and where He was going, so He was able to serve others whole-heartedly, without seeking His identity in them. 

He knew who His Father was.

It can be the same for us, if we want it: we can know and understand who our Father - our heavenly Father - is.  We can know and understand our pasts and we can know where we have come from.

And it is in understanding these things that we can understand who we really are.

Fresh Start

This afternoon, I went to watch the new Batman film. 

I really enjoyed it and there were lots of things that stood out for me.  However, to avoid ruining any of the twists if you have yet to see it, I will keep my comments short and spoiler-free.

One of the main things that I found really significant was how one of the characters is completely driven and motivated by a desire for a fresh start and a new identity.  And she will do anything to achieve this.

She is so desperate to wipe away the trace of her past and who she was, that she will stop at nothing until she has got what she wants.

Her desire for a fresh start and to be able to wipe the slate clean is one that we can all empathise with.  We have all done or said or been things with which we're not especially proud.  We all have, as Lord Grantham says in 'Downton Abbey' "chapters we'd rather keep unpublished."

And the good news is that when we put our trust and our hope in Jesus, we are given a fresh start.  We are made new:

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"

[2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV]

Whilst we receive a brand new life the moment we turn to God, we are always in need of another fresh start and another fresh start and another fresh start.

And with Jesus, if we ask, there will always be a new beginning, a chance to wipe the slate clean and to start over:

          "Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
          for his compassions never fail. 
          They are new every morning."

          [Lamentations 3:23 NIV emphasis mine]

I love this prayer of David for a fresh start and new life -

         "God, make a fresh start in me,
         shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life."
         [Psalm 51:10 MSG]

We all long for a fresh start, but we don't have to pursue it with all that we have.  We simply have to ask.

Remind Me Who I Am

Today I overheard someone say to their friend, "Just be who you usually are.  Be yourself."

How often do we need to hear those words ourselves?

It is so tempting to change or alter or refine or disguise ourselves in different circumstances.  When we are with different friends, when we are with colleagues, when we meet someone for the first time, when we chat to our family, when we talk to our boss, when we are at an interview, when we are on a date, when we are with confident people, when we are with quiet people, when we are with intelligent people, when we are with fashionable people, when we are at church, when we are at the pub, when we are at the supermarket, when we are in a club, when we are by ourselves.

We can have so many different versions of ourselves that sometimes we forget who the original is, we forget how to "just be who you usually are."  Sometimes we get so caught up  in looking for ourselves in different ways and in different places, that we forget what it means to really be ourselves. 

We forget who we are.

But the Bible says that we are uniquely created and designed by God, we are His masterpieces [Ephesians 2:10].

So instead of adapting ourselves in different circumstances and with different people, let's work on finding out who we really are and celebrating and embracing that.  Discovering our true identity in Christ and not comparing ourselves to anyone else.

"So since we find ourselves fashioned into all of these excellently formed and marvellously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't."

[Romans 12:6, MSG]

These are the words of one of my favourite songs - Jason Gray "Remind Me Who I Am".  Beautiful and so profound.

When I lose my way,
And I forget my name,
Remind me who I am.
In the mirror all I see,
Is who I don't wanna be,
Remind me who I am.
In the loneliest places,
When I can't remember what grace is.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.

When my heart is like a stone,
And I'm running far from home,
Remind me who I am.
When I can't receive Your love,
Afraid I'll never be enough,
Remind me who I am.
If I'm Your beloved,
Can You help me believe it.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You, whoa.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You.
That I belong to You.
To You.

I'm the one you love,
I'm the one you love,
That will be enough,
I'm the one you love.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You, oh.

And this is a brilliant website about who the Bible says we are in Christ- http://www.joycemeyer.org/articles/ea.aspx?article=knowing_who_i_am_in_christ