Loving At All Is A Risk

I had the TV on in the background today whilst I was doing some ironing.  I'm not sure what was on - if it was an advert, a trailer, or part of a programme - but I heard the following line, which has been stuck in my mind ever since:

 

"Loving at all is a risk."

 

Love is a risk.

 

C. S. Lewis famously wrote,

 

"To love at all is to be vulnerable.  Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.  But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change.  It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."

 

Last week, I watched a bit of the second Pirates of the Caribbean film.  The 'baddie' in the film is Davey Jones: a man who had his heart broken once and, to avoid further pain, removed it and locked it away in a chest.  He carries the key to the chest about his person at all times, to prevent it ever being touched, or hurt, or broken again.

 

I know there have been times when I have felt like doing the same (obviously metaphorically, not literally).  I have been tempted to shut down my heart, to close for business, to put up a 'Trespassers will be prosecuted' sign.  I have been tempted to shut down and shut the world out.

 

But whilst shutting our hearts down like this will certainly minimise pain, it will also numb all emotion.  We will be safe from harm, but we will also be cut off from true love, real friendship, genuine happiness.  We will miss out on all of the good things that life has to offer.

 

Love is a risk.

 

And we see the ultimate risk-taking love when we look to the cross.  There we see a naked, beaten, vulnerable man bearing His soul to show us His love.

 

Even with no guarantee of the return of our love or affection, God loved us.

 

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

[Romans 5:8 NIV]

 

God showed His love for us.  Powerfully, passionately, personally. 

 

Loving at all is a risk.  But it is worth it.

 

 

Vulnerability Is A Risky Thing

Today, I treated myself to some lilies. 

 

I know lots of people don't like them because of their smell, but I adore them.  They are my favourite flower.  I love how they fill up the whole room with their sweet, creamy scent.

 

Since I bought them at lunch time, two flower heads have opened up completely, and one is just starting to peel open its petals at the top.

 

I love watching them slowly opening up.  They start off as dark green, firm buds, which poke upwards at the sky.  But as they begin to bloom, the dark green buds fade through light green to creamy white.  And slowly, ever so slowly, their petals begin to separate from the bud and peel back to reveal a vibrant hot pink centre, which is simply breath-taking.

 

From the outside, you would never think that they would be so full of beautiful colour, or that the stamen and carpel could 'fit' inside the bud.

 

There is more than meets the eye.

 

It's the same with us.

 

There is always more beneath the surface.

 

We may seem like tightly closed buds, but we all have something beautiful within us and God sees beneath the surface to this beauty within.

"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

 

[1 Samuel 16:7 NIV] 

 

However, whilst my lilies have opened up this afternoon, they have only done so because they have water and flower-food and warmth and light.  They have the right conditions.

 

It's the same for us.

 

We don't feel comfortable or secure 'opening up', or revealing what's really inside us, unless we feel safe.  Unless we have the right conditions.

 

We all have something beautiful to reveal, but opening up and revealing our hearts is risky, because it makes us vulnerable.  Anything or anyone can get in and they could hurt us.

 

Vulnerability is a risky thing, but it is also the most beautiful and freeing thing.

 

As Anaïs Nin said,

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
 

Risk blossoming.  Risk being vulnerable.