Spring Cleaning

I always get the urge to spring clean at inconvenient moments: 10 minutes before I need to leave the house in the morning, or just before I leave work.  Sometimes the mood takes me just before bed.  Whenever it hits, I feel almost compelled to clean and tidy and sort right then.

 

There is no stopping me.

 

However, I can rarely conjure up this same spirit of ruthless sorting, organising and tidying when I want to.  I'm still able to sort and tidy, but not with the same gusto as when these spring cleaning moments occur.

 

Today was such a day.

 

I was just about to leave work when I was overcome with a desire to sort out all of the miscellaneous paper work which has been accumulating around my desk.

 

I felt so much better post-tidy.  I could see my desk again, things were organised and I felt that order had been restored to my world.

 

Sometimes I feel like I need a thorough 'spring clean' in my heart and in my mind, too.  I need to sort through all of the miscellaneous paperwork which has accumulated - the thoughts and beliefs, the doubts and disappointments and dreams - and I need to tidy them up.  Some need to be kept for the future and stored away.  Some should be thrown away and some can be recycled and made into something new.

 

I love this passage in Isaiah which describes this spring-cleaning process, this starting again -

 

"They'll rebuild the old ruins, raise a new city out of the wreckage.  They'll start over on the ruined cities, take the rubble left behind and make it new."

 

[Isaiah 61:5 MSG]

 

As it seems that Spring is perhaps finally arriving and as I start to spring-clean the places in my life, I want to spend some time spring-cleaning the places in my heart as well. 

 

 

 

Back To Nornal

This evening I have taken down my Christmas tree and all of the beautiful decorations.  They have been packed away into boxes and stored away until next year.

 

I always feel sad taking down Christmas decorations.  I love putting them up every year and then I get used to them: they brighten up the room and they brighten up dull, December days.  They become a part of the decor.  They become familiar.

 

I don't like the gaps and spaces and expanses that are left when the tree has been taken down and all of the shiny, shimmering decorations have disappeared.  But even more, I dislike the fact that I soon become used to my flat sans decorations again.  Everything seems 'back to normal' and it's almost as if Christmas never happened. 

 

Whilst I've packed away my decorations, I don't want to pack away the meaning of Christmas and the message of God coming to earth to dwell with mankind.

 

Whilst he's not writing about Christmas decorations, I think James' advice to his readers about remembering what we learn about God is relevant.  James encourages his readers to make an effort to remember what they have learnt, rather than learning something and instantly forgetting it, in the same way that we can look at our reflections in a mirror for a moment and then forget what we look like.  Or, in this instance, in the same way that we can pack away our Christmas decorations and forget that it was ever Christmas at all.

 

"But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.  For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror.  You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like.  But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it."
 

[James 1:22-24 NLT]

 

 

Whilst the decorations are tidied away until next year, I want to keep the real message of Christmas - the truth of Immanuel: God with us - unwrapped and unpacked and open in my heart and my life.  Until next year.

 

 

 

Why Tidying Is Not Always A Good Thing

Whenever people come round to my flat, I always feel the need to tidy things up a bit - even if all I do is 'neaten' the mess.

 

The other day, before a friend came round, I only had time to complete one task.  I found myself thinking: I'll do the washing up rather than the ironing.  Having my washing out is a sign that I am clean - I have done my washing.  But having dirty dishes stacked up seems dirty and unclean.

 

I made my mess 'acceptable'.

 

Or if I haven't had time to tidy, I find myself apologising and telling people to forgive or ignore the mess.

 

I was challenged today by how I do this spiritually as well: I present my 'problems' in a tidy package.  I make my mess 'acceptable'.  Or I apologise for it and ask people to ignore it.

 

I was trying to think of what would be an appropriate response to someone seeing the messiness of my life - both the literal mess and the spiritual mess.

 

Asking them to ignore it or forgive it or imagine it's not there is neither possible nor helpful.  Frantically rushing around before they arrive to tidy up (or panicking over unplanned guests), leaves me exhausted and wondering if I've missed a bit.

 

Perhaps a much better response would be to say, Here is my mess, please could you help me sort it out?

 

I want to be honest about my struggles and my mess.  Because in honesty there is freedom.  And because no one can help you clear up the mess if you don't let them see it.

 

The Psalmist wrote,

 

"And me?  I'm a mess.  I'm nothing and have nothing: make something of me. You can do it; you've got what it takes."

 

[Psalm 40:17 MSG] 

 

God does have what it takes to make something of us.  But first we have to acknowledge and own our mess.  Rather than hiding it, or ignoring it and asking others to ignore it too.

 

 

 

My Life Is A Mess

Whenever I tidy something or have a 'spring clean', everything always looks worse, much worse, when I am half-way through.  And when it looks like that - with so many piles of stuff everywhere that you wonder where it was all hiding - I always question why I started.

 

It's at times like these when I have to fight the strong temptation to just walk away.  Or to shove it all into a box or under the bed, out of sight.

 

It seems to be, as Jane Austen would say, "a truth universally acknowledged" that things have to get worse before they get better when it comes to tidying and cleaning.  I wonder if there is some sort of science behind it all?

 

And it seems that when we are sorting things out in our hearts and in our lives, things often get messy before they get better as well.  And we have to fight the same temptation to run away and to hide our issues under the bed again.

 

Sometimes in order to sort things out and to be put back together, we need to first be taken from together.  We need to be broken in order to be properly mended.  And that is messy.

 

But God is in the mess with us.  And He will help to rebuild us.

 

      "For God is out to help Zion,

      Rebuilding the wrecked towns of Judah."

 

       [Psalm 69:35 MSG]

 

       And,

 

       "You’ll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew,
       rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
       You’ll be known as those who can fix anything,
       restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate,
       make the community livable again.

 

      [Isaiah 58:12 MSG]

 

I heard this the other day,

"Have the courage to be imperfect."

I have spent most of my life chasing perfection.  The illusive idea that if I tried just a little bit harder, if I was just a little bit better, my life might be easier/better/more fulfilling.

 

I have run from imperfection and mess.  But I am beginning to realise that it is in embracing and wrestling with the mess that we find ourselves.  And in doing so, we find contentment and fulfilment.

 

We are all works in progress.  We are all half-way through the 'sorting out' process.  We are not finished products.  We are being refined and reshaped and recast day after day after day.

 

I'm not sure I have the courage to be imperfect.  But I want to try.

 

I want to be comfortable living in the mess, because that's where the life is.