Insomnia

Ironically, after posting last night about how tired I was, I couldn't sleep.

 

I wasn't even in the least bit sleepy.

 

I tried to sleep for about an hour and didn't feel any sleepier.  I read my book, I wrote in my journal, I listened to some music, and then I tried again.  But with no luck.  I was just as wide awake.

 

Eventually I stopped pretending I was sleepy and I got up.

 

I had some toast, did the washing up that I had left for the morning, tidied my flat, rearranged my furniture, straightened my hair and rang my sister.

 

About three hours after I had first gone to bed, I finally fell asleep.

 

Needless to say, I am exhausted today.

 

But I'm not the only one who was awake last night.  The Bible says that God doesn't sleep either.  Not because He suffers from insomnia and can't drop off, but because He watches over us and protects us in our sleep:

 

"I look up to the mountains - does my help come from there?  My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!  He will not let you stumble; the one who watches over you will not slumber.  Indeed, he who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps."

[Psalm 121:1-3 NLT]

 

Sometimes it's easy to think that God has fallen asleep, that He has dozed off somewhere [as Jesus did when He was in the boat with His disciples], and is unaware of what is going on in our lives.  Sometimes God seems distant and silent and sleepy.  We are left waiting for answers to prayers or solutions to problems whilst, it seems, God snoozes.

 

But He who watches over Israel never slumbers or sleeps.

 

God is always awake, always active, always working for us. 

 

Jesus said,

"My Father is always working, and so am I."

[John 5:17 NLT, emphasis mine]

 

We can rest in peace, because we know that God is always working and looking out for us.  He watches over us to prevent us from stumbling. 

 

So tonight, I hope that I can say, as the Psalmist did -

 

       "I will lie down and sleep in peace,

       for you alone, O Lord,

       make me dwell in safety."

 

       [Psalm 4:8 NIV]

 

 

 

Working on Believing

I've just finished reading 'Room' by Emma Donoghue.

 

I only got it out of the library yesterday and I have hardly put it down.  It is one of the most beautiful and mesmerising books I have ever read.  It is about a five-year old boy, Jack, who has grown up in a single room, without ever knowing anything of the outside world.  He believes that everything he sees on TV is just 'TV' - it's not real.  But one day, his Ma tells him that there really is a world outside.

He struggles to take this in and to believe that it is real.  And he says, "I'm working on believing."

 

Isn't that true for all of us?

 

Aren't we all working on believing and growing in trusting?

Believing in God.  Believing in His goodness.  Believing in His faithfulness.  Believing He really does care and He really does know us.  Believing He has a plan to bless us and prosper us.  The list of things we are working on believing could stretch on and on.

In the Bible, there's a story of a conversation Jesus had about believing with a man whose son had suffered from seizures since he was little.  The man told Jesus,

“It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

“‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for him who believes.”

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

[Mark 9:21-24 NIV, emphasis mine]

Everything is possible for him who believes.  I don't believe this.  Yet.  But I want to.

We are all working on believing.  And God will help us if we ask Him.