Disappointment And Delight

Life is full of disappointments.

 

Oranges with more pips than flesh.  Trains being delayed.  Computers crashing and losing your work.  Rain after you have straightened your hair.  Photocopiers jamming when you're in a rush.

 

And it's not just things that can disappoint us.  People can too. 

 

We can feel let down by other people and by God.  They let us down, or they don't pull through for us.

 

But the worst feeling of disappointment is disappointment in ourselves.  We feel that we haven't just let ourselves down, but have let other people down, too.  It's like we have to feel the disappointment twice.

 

I've just been enjoying another dose of The Gilmore Girls. Rory doesn't get an internship that she was really hoping for and, as well as being disappointed herself, she feels that she has disappointed everyone else too.  And that feeling is worse than just being disappointed in herself.

 

Similarly, we can feel that we have disappointed other people too.  Or, even worse, we can feel like God is disappointed in us.

 

Yesterday, I wrote about how God's love for us depends on what He is like and what He does, not what we are like or what we do.

 

But it goes further than that.  God doesn't just tolerate us because that's His nature.  He loves us and delights in us.

 

        "For the Lord your God is living among you.
        He is a mighty saviour.
        He will take delight in you with gladness.
        With his love, he will calm all your fears.
        He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

 

        [Zephaniah 3:17 NLT]

 

 

When she doesn't get the internship, Rory's mum comforts her, saying,

"You could never be a disappointment to me. Ever. Never ever. Never ever ever."

 

And God says the same to us. 

 

Delight.  Not disappointment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A True Reflection

I've had a sticky smudge across my bedroom mirror for a few weeks now and, in my laziness, I have just ignored it.

 

I kept forgetting it as it's only obvious when I'm sitting on my bed - I haven't really noticed it when I'm standing up at the mirror.

 

However, when I was sitting down, I couldn't really see myself properly.  I could still make myself out, but my image was blurred.  It wasn't a true reflection.

 

In the same way, my view of myself in a spiritual or emotional way is often blurred by 'smudges'.  Smudges caused by circumstances, or failures, or flaws, or doubts, or what others think of me, or even what I think others think of me.

 

They distort my image of myself.

 

And they are not a true reflection of how God sees me.

 

And sometimes they distort my image of God and His goodness and His faithfulness too.

 

Two nights ago as I sat on my bed I noticed the smudge on my mirror again, and something shifted this time; something roused me from my lazy apathy.  I got the polish and duster and vigorously cleaned the whole mirror.

 

Until I could see myself clearly.

 

In the same way, sometimes I need to give my spiritual 'mirror' a good clean to get rid of the dirt and grime that stops me from seeing myself the way that God does.

 

The Bible is clear about how precious and loved we are in God's sight, in spite of our faults and failings.  Paul writes,

"God chose you to be the holy people he loves."

[Colossians 3:12 NLT]

 

And Zephaniah describes God's love and delight in us -

 

          "He will take delight in you with gladness.
          With his love, he will calm all your fears.
          He will rejoice over you with joyful songs."

 

          [Zephaniah 3:17 NLT]

 

 

This is how I want to see myself.  This is what I want to see and know and believe when I look in the mirror.  I want to see myself the way God does.  But sometimes, in order to do that, we need to take a good long look at the mirror and give it a good clean first.