Loving At All Is A Risk

I had the TV on in the background today whilst I was doing some ironing.  I'm not sure what was on - if it was an advert, a trailer, or part of a programme - but I heard the following line, which has been stuck in my mind ever since:

 

"Loving at all is a risk."

 

Love is a risk.

 

C. S. Lewis famously wrote,

 

"To love at all is to be vulnerable.  Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.  But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change.  It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."

 

Last week, I watched a bit of the second Pirates of the Caribbean film.  The 'baddie' in the film is Davey Jones: a man who had his heart broken once and, to avoid further pain, removed it and locked it away in a chest.  He carries the key to the chest about his person at all times, to prevent it ever being touched, or hurt, or broken again.

 

I know there have been times when I have felt like doing the same (obviously metaphorically, not literally).  I have been tempted to shut down my heart, to close for business, to put up a 'Trespassers will be prosecuted' sign.  I have been tempted to shut down and shut the world out.

 

But whilst shutting our hearts down like this will certainly minimise pain, it will also numb all emotion.  We will be safe from harm, but we will also be cut off from true love, real friendship, genuine happiness.  We will miss out on all of the good things that life has to offer.

 

Love is a risk.

 

And we see the ultimate risk-taking love when we look to the cross.  There we see a naked, beaten, vulnerable man bearing His soul to show us His love.

 

Even with no guarantee of the return of our love or affection, God loved us.

 

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

[Romans 5:8 NIV]

 

God showed His love for us.  Powerfully, passionately, personally. 

 

Loving at all is a risk.  But it is worth it.

 

 

Because You're Worth It

I've started reading a really interesting book today called 'The Gifts of Imperfection' by Brene Brown. 

 

As someone who constantly battles with perfectionism, the idea that imperfection could be okay, let alone a gift, is quite a difficult one for me to swallow.  However, the first section that I've been reading has been really interesting.

 

In one of the early chapters, she describes the concept of worthiness - feeling worthy, or good enough, for love and belonging -

 

"The biggest challenge for most of us is believing that we are worthy now, right this minute.  Worthiness doesn't have prerequisites.  So many of us have knowingly created/unknowingly allowed/been handed down a long list of worthiness prerequisites [she continues to list the 'prerequisites we conjure up to become 'worthy' of love and belonging] ... We are worthy of love and belonging now.  Right this minute.  As is."

 

I love how this concept of worthy right now is seen in Jesus and beautifully displayed through His ministry.  Jesus reached out and touched the blind, the 'unclean', the rejected.  He touched the outsiders of society and called them worthy.  And in declaring them worthy, they became worthy.

 

It is the same with us.

 

He reaches out to us and embraces us, no matter where we find ourselves, or what we have done or thought or believed.  And He declares us worthy.  Because of His great love, manifested in His death for us on the cross.

 

"Immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us.  He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ [...] Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah."

 

[Ephesians 2:4, 6 MSG] 

 

We can't earn God's love.  But we don't need to.

 

We are worthy because He says we are.

 

 

 

Love Is A Verb

I have been enjoying another series of the Gilmore Girls this evening. 

 

At one point, Lorelai and her daughter (who is at University), have been communicating via email.  Lorelai complains that Rory has been writing really brief emails and hasn't been including enough information:

 

She says,

"You're not even using verbs.  That's not a relationship.  Relationships need verbs."

 

Relationships need verbs.

 

As Newton Faulkner sang,

 

         "Love, love is a verb

         Love is a doing word."

 

 

Love should be something active.  Love is more than just words. 

 

It is easy to tell someone you love them, so much harder to show them.  Loving someone in actions takes effort.  It requires time and energy and compromise.  It is so much easier to simply say you love someone.

 

But God didn't just say He loved us.  He showed us His love.  He sent His Son to die for us to show us His love.  The cross is a display of His powerful, passionate love.

 

John urges this in his first letter:

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

 

[1 John 3:18 NIV]

 

It's easy to say you love someone.  But love is a verb.