Watch What You Say

I talk to myself.  A lot.

 

I talk all the time about all sorts of things.  When I'm driving, when I'm cooking, when I'm cleaning etc.  I'll have conversations about all sorts of things: reviewing things that have happened during the day.  Imagining alternative things that could have happened.  Inventing conversations with other people.

 

Most of the things I say to myself are irrelevant and unimportant. But sometimes I catch myself telling myself how stupid I am, or how I'm not good enough.  Sometimes I hear myself talking negatively and I haven't even noticed myself doing it.

 

And it always seems that the negative things stick.

 

As Vivian says in 'Pretty Woman' -

"The bad stuff is easier to believe.  You ever notice that?"

 

But the Bible tells us how important the words that we use are -

 

          "Words kill, words give life;
          they’re either poison or fruit—you choose."

 

          [Proverbs 18:21 MSG]

 

 

The words that we speak are like seeds which grow either into flowers or weeds.  What we say affects what we believe and how we treat others and ourselves.  If we are always speaking negatively to and about ourselves, we will find ourselves believing these things.

 

The bad stuff is easier to believe.  The good stuff is harder, much harder to believe.  But is also essential.

 

And it is essential that we speak the good stuff about ourselves, until we believe it.

 

 

 

 

Love Is A Verb

I have been enjoying another series of the Gilmore Girls this evening. 

 

At one point, Lorelai and her daughter (who is at University), have been communicating via email.  Lorelai complains that Rory has been writing really brief emails and hasn't been including enough information:

 

She says,

"You're not even using verbs.  That's not a relationship.  Relationships need verbs."

 

Relationships need verbs.

 

As Newton Faulkner sang,

 

         "Love, love is a verb

         Love is a doing word."

 

 

Love should be something active.  Love is more than just words. 

 

It is easy to tell someone you love them, so much harder to show them.  Loving someone in actions takes effort.  It requires time and energy and compromise.  It is so much easier to simply say you love someone.

 

But God didn't just say He loved us.  He showed us His love.  He sent His Son to die for us to show us His love.  The cross is a display of His powerful, passionate love.

 

John urges this in his first letter:

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

 

[1 John 3:18 NIV]

 

It's easy to say you love someone.  But love is a verb.

 

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

I've always wondered why 'Nice' biscuits are called 'Nice'.

 

Apparently they were originally made in the French city of Nice, and were called 'Fait a Nice' biscuits.  However, this name was considered too long and so it was shortened to 'Nice'.

 

I think it would be really helpful if all food was labelled in the same way.  You would know before giving it a go whether or not it would be tasty.  Sprouts, for example, could be labelled 'inedible' and save us all a lot of time.

 

I sometimes think it would be helpful if situations or events in life, or jobs, or people had similar labels, too.  It would be clear whether or not to apply for a job or who to trust.  You could easily sort out the 'good' and the 'bad' in life.

 

But, unfortunately life doesn't come with labels. 

 

The Bible says that the only real way that we can tell what people are like is by looking at their actions.  Our actions are our labels. 

 

"Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions."

 

[Matthew 7:20 NLT] 

 

Our actions are the 'fruit' in our lives, the things by which we can be identified.  Our actions are the things that people will remember.  They will last longer in the minds of others than the things we say.

Actions speak louder than words. 

 

What are you saying?

 

 

 

Heart of Worship

I have spent this evening working on writing worship songs with some friends.

 

We have had a brilliant evening playing around with words and melodies and meanings.  And we have produced something with which we are all really pleased.

 

At one point in the evening we were wrestling with an awkward line which didn't seem to fit, but which we didn't want to lose.

 

It felt as though we were struggling and trying too hard to make something fit, that it became a bit artificial.  It was no longer an outpouring of our hearts: our syllable-counting, make-it-rhyme, neat-and-tidy minds got in the way.

 

We played around with it for a bit and then just left it for a while and started just singing what was on our hearts. 

 

And in all of that, we refocused on what was important - on what we were singing and why we were singing it and, most importantly, to whom we were singing.

 

And as we sang, the line made sense.  It fitted.  Without forcing or coercion.  We realised what mattered more was what was on our hearts. 

 

Becasue our worship and praise to God should be a response from the heart

 

"For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."

 

[Luke 6:45 NIV]

 

As Matt Redman sang,

 

"I'm coming back to the heart of worship

And it's all about you

It's all about you, Jesus."

 

 

The heart of worship is the worship of our hearts.

 

It's all about Him.  And it's all for Him.

 

 

 

The Complete Guide To Sorting Out Your Life

In a charity shop today I came across a book with a very ambitious title.  I can't quite remember how it was worded, but it was something like The Complete Guide to Fixing Your Life.  Or The Complete Guide to Sorting Out Your Life.

 

Naturally, I was intrigued.

 

I must say I was rather disappointed with the contents as it was primarily a book about changing your diet to incorporate more fruit and veg and unrefined foods etc.  Not quite the life-changing tome the title suggested.

 

There have definitely been times in my life when I have wished for such a guide to life.  A guide which would have fixed everything or sorted it all out.

 

I think often we can look at the Bible as a collection of interesting thoughts or 'catchy' proverbs.  Along with Shakespeare, it is probably one of the most quoted and referenced books.

 

But it is so much more than a collection of dusty, over-used proverbs or snappy phrases.

 

I love how Jesus described His words,

 

“These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living.  They are foundational words, words to build a life on.  If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on solid rock.  Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit - but nothing moved that house.  It was fixed to the rock.

But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don’t work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach.  When a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards.”

[Matthew 7:24-27 MSG]
 

The words in the Bible aren't just catchphrases for us to toss around and slip into conversation.  Or rather, if that is all they are to us, then we will never understand their true meaning and their true power in transforming our lives.

But when we work the words of the Bible into our lives, when we build our lives upon them, when we make them our foundation, we find ourselves equipped with a complete guide to truly sorting out our lives.



 

Empty

Today I feel exhausted and fed up.  I feel empty.

 

My heart feels heavy.

 

Jesus said in Matthew,

 "Out of the fullness (the overflow, the superabundance) of the heart the mouth speaks."

[Matthew 12:34 AMP]

 

Whatever my heart is filled with - whatever your heart is filled with - whether love, or anger, or envy, or frustration, or grief, this is what overflows and spills out into our words and our actions.  This is what spills out into our lives. 

 

Perhaps that is why the writer of Proverbs urged us to guard our hearts, as they are the wellspring, the source, of all life [Proverbs 4:23].

 

If I am not regularly spending time with God and letting His truths soak into my heart, all I will have to offer - all that will 'flow out of my heart' - is what I can muster up myself.  And on a day like today, that is not very much.

 

We need to keep returning to God and to His Word, to be filled up again and again and again, so that we overflow with His love and grace and acceptance and mercy.

 

For no one else has the words of life.

 

As Simon Peter said,

“Lord, to whom shall we go?  You have the words of eternal life."

[John 6:68 NIV] 

 

 

 

Love Letters

I have been watching the film 'Dear John' this evening.  I joined it halfway through, so I'm not 100% sure what's happening, but I think I'm just about up to speed.

 

At the heart of the story is a young couple, separated by distance, who write to each other (or, to be properly American, write each other).

 

The letters are filled with messages of love between the couple and stories from their days.

 

When we talk about prayer, this is what I picture.  Not a stuffy ritual.  Not a list of wishes or wants.  Not a hands-together-and-eyes-shut affair.  But messages of love between us and God.

 

This is how Jesus taught us to pray -

 

“Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God.  Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage.  The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.  The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant.  They’re full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God.  Don’t fall for that nonsense.  This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need.  With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply."

 

[Matthew 6:6-13 MSG]

 

When we write letters to those we love, we don't try to show off or pretend we're someone we're not.  We don't hide the truth.  We express ourselves honestly and openly.  We share our hearts and we share our love.

 

God speaks to us through prayer, but He also speaks to us through the Bible.  His Word is a love letter [there is a brilliant and beautiful description of the Bible as God's love letter to us on this website - http://www.fathersloveletter.com/text.html].

 

God loves us and wants us to know the love He has for us.  He has already written to us.

 

We simply need to open the letter.

 

 

 

 

 

Writing and Creating

I love writing. 

 

Stories, articles, blogs, essays, poems.  It doesn't really matter what I'm writing.  I enjoy all of it.

 

I never feel more alive than when I am writing.  It feels as though I am doing what I was created to do and I feel satisfied in the very depths of my being.

 

I have been working this evening on a story I'm writing and I've been really interested in the way that I think as I write.  I know what I want to say and I play around with the words until I am happy with them.  I feel confident and creative and I enjoy both the process of writing and the finished piece.

 

I love the feeling of creating new faces and places,  of describing a storyline unfolding and unfurling.  And I love how the characters seem to come alive in my hands.

 

But when it comes to my own life, I often forget that I have the same creative power.  I have the ability to change the way I see myself or what I believe about myself through my words.  I have the power to create new situations or scenarios for myself.  I have the power to alter how I see myself and how I value myself.  I have the power to decide what or who I will believe about myself. 

 

I have the power to create or destroy, to build up, or to tear down.   

 

Proverbs says,

"Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit - you choose."

[Proverbs 18:21 MSG]

 

So often I don't choose.  I forget that I have this creative power over my own life and, especially, over my own thoughts.  I feel as though I drift along through life, as a passive tourist, rather than as an active participant.

 

But Paul writes about the need for us to be active in constructing our identity and our sense of self and making sure that what we believe about ourselves measures up with what God says about us:

"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.  On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

 

[2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV]

 

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God.

 

It is with God's word that we demolish the arguments and lies we believe about ourselves: I am not worthless, I am not abandoned, I am not forgotten or forsaken, I am forgiven, I am loved, I am chosen, I am blessed, I am delighted in.

 

And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

 

If I only let myself believe the things that God says about me, I would have a deep sense of peace and security about who I am.

 

But we have to choose.  We have to be active in writing and creating our identity.  In the same way that a writer has to be active for the characters to live and for the story to unfold.

 

 

 

 

 

Life and Death and Words

I am one of those people who is fascinated by words.

I love finding out their origins and finding root words which they have in common.  For example, obvious though it may sound, I realised just the other day that the word 'knee' and 'kneel' are related.  Fascinating!

And words are powerful.

It is with words that we construct our understanding of our world, our beliefs and our selves.

They have a life and a power of their own. 

As Dumbledore says,

“Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic.”

In the beginning, in Genesis, God could have created the world and everything in it with His hands.  He could have sculpted and crafted everything physically.  But, instead, He chose to bring things into existence through His words, through His voice.

"And God said, 'Let there be light,' and there was light."

[Genesis 1:2 NIV emphasis mine]

Words are powerful. 

They have the power to bring things into existence, to bring light to dark places, to bring hope to places of despair.  The words that we use to describe ourselves and others either give life or destroy it.  They either create or kill.

"What you say can mean life or death. Those who speak with care will be rewarded."

[Proverbs 18:21 NCV]

"Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit - you choose."

[Proverbs 18:21 MSG]

You choose. 

Sometimes I know that the words I choose to use to talk about myself, to talk about others, to talk about my past or future, are not life-giving.  They limit and restrict and choke things. 

But I want to give life with my words.

What do you create with your words?

It's Not What You Say, It's How You Say It

I was told the other day that I talk a lot with my hands.

We were at a training session about communication and how significant non-verbal features are.  Apparently 70% of what we say is non-verbal. 

Most of what we say isn't with words.

Sometimes we can spend ages thinking about the perfect way to phrase something or the best words to use to help someone to understand our points.  But what really matters is the way we say it.  The tone of our voice, the pace of our voice, the volume of our voice, our eye contact, our body language, our hand gestures...

It's the same when it comes to faith.  Most of what we say about what we believe is non-verbal.  It's in our lifestyles.  And other people look for these things.

We say it in the way we greet them, the way we treat them, the way we handle stress, the way we handle disappointment, the way we comfort others, the way we support others, the way we show kindness, the way we show grace, the way we forgive, the way we forget, the way we give away our love, the way we give away our money.

We say more with our lives than with our words.

What are you saying with your lifestyle?

"Treat everyone you meet with dignity.  Love your spiritual family.  Revere God.  Respect the government."

[1 Peter 2:17, MSG]

"Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity."

[Colossians 4:5, NLT]

I talk a lot with my hands.  But I hope that I talk a lot with my lifestyle too.