Why I Struggle With 'Holiness'

When I hear the word 'holy' in relation to a person, I think dull, boring, judgemental, critical, holier-than-thou.  I  don't imagine I will have anything in common with them and I don't really want to get to know them.

 

When I hear the word 'holy' in relation to God, I think distant, separate, untouchable, wouldn't understand.  I picture the holiness of God as something that I would be scared to approach, for fear of my own undeniable and inherent unholiness.  Even though I know the Bible says we can approach God's throne boldly through Jesus, the idea of God's holiness still makes me feel uncomfortable.

 

But when I hear holiness like this, my thoughts change:

 

"Holiness is the most attractive quality, the most intense experience we ever get of sheer life - authentic, first-hand living, not life looked at and lived from a distance ... Holiness is a furnace that transforms the men and women who enter it.

 

Wow.

 

 

This view of holiness is interesting, beautiful, attractive, life-giving, transforming, inviting.

 

And this is what Jesus offers.  Holiness, a whole-life.  Aren't they the same thing?  Holiness is a full life, a real life, an exciting life, a transformed life.  And it is a life that is possible through Jesus.

"I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of."

 

[John 10:10 MSG] 

 

This is the view of holiness I want. This is the kind of holiness I want in my life.

Modern Art

I am rewatching 'Mona Lisa Smile' for about the hundredth time.  It is one of my all-time favourite films.  The beautiful vintage clothes, the comments on the role of a woman and the attitudes and expectations of society.

 

Set in the 50s in America, it tells the story of Katherine Watson, a lecturer of art whose ideas and teaching methods are unorthodox.  Against the strict background of a prestigious college for girls, her teaching style appears controversial, progressive and subversive.

 

The Wellesley girls are used to looking at and analysing traditional classical art - Monet, Davinchi etc.  One day, Katherine shows them a piece of art work by Jackson Pollock.  With no discernible characters or 'storyline', the girls struggle to see the painting as 'art'.  It breaks all the rules and fails to fit into their preconceived idea of what constitutes art.

 

 

In the same way, the Jews struggled to see Jesus as being God.  He broke all the 'rules' and failed to fit into their preconceived classical idea of what God would or should be like. 

 

He was born, not in a palace, but in a stable, to an unmarried woman.  He ate with tax collectors and prostitutes.  He touched the 'unclean' and the dead and he reached out to heal those on the outside of society.

 

Perhaps the most scandalous thing was that this man, who claimed to be God himself, died.  Humiliated and disgraced on a cross, to take the punishment for our wrongdoings.

 

We can often have preconceived ideas about Jesus, too - about what He should be like and what He should do.  And, perhaps more importantly, what He won't like or won't be interested in, or won't do.  Jesus isn't interested in sex or sexuality or money or anger or hatred or jealousy or doubt or disappointment.  He doesn't want to hear our complaints.  In fact He doesn't want to hear about anything that's not 'religious'.

 

But the Jesus that we find in the Bible doesn't fit into these neat and tidy preconceived ideas.  He is not bound by religiosity or rules.  He came to set us free from those restrictions and to give us a free life:

"II came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.  I am the Good Shepherd.  The Good Shepherd puts the sheep before himself, sacrifices himself if necessary."

[John 10:10-11 MSG]

Like the Jackson Pollock painting, Jesus breaks the rules.  He invites us into a life not of sterile religiosity, but of messy and creative freedom.

 

As Katherine advises the girls, sometimes we need to lose our preconceptions and look at what's in front of us: look at who Jesus really is, not at who we think He is.

 

"Stop talking and just look."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Handbags

We've been talking this evening about what Jesus meant when He said that He had come to give us a "full life" [John 10:10].

 

What does it mean to be filled and fulfilled?  Is it a permanent state, or a changing one?  Do we need to be regularly 'topped up'? etc.

 

We talked about what a full life looked like - knowing who we are (identity), knowing why we're here (purpose), knowing where we're going (security) - and what we can so easily be tempted to 'fill' our lives with instead - wealth, job satisfaction, family, friends, relationships, material goods etc. - the things that promise to satisfy, but always leave us wanting.

 

We talked about our capacity to be filled as well.  Does it change and grow and stretch as we change and grow and stretch in our faith?  Or is it fixed?

 

I have an amazing ability to fill whatever size handbag you give me.  Be it small or large, I can guarantee I will fill every inch of it with things I need to have with me.  I can't explain it.  I think perhaps I see empty space as wasted space.

 

But it got me thinking about this idea of being filled, or having a full life.  As we grow more in our relationships with God, perhaps He gives us a bigger capacity to be filled, so that we never tire or grow weary of walking with Him.

 

He gives us a bigger handbag.*

 

In Isaiah, God told His people to be prepared to be stretched so that He could bless them with a full and rich and abundant life -

 

        "Enlarge the place of your tent,

        stretch your tent curtains wide,

        do not hold back;

        lengthen your cords,

        strengthen your stakes.

        For you will spread out to the right and to the left."

 

        [Isaiah 54:2-3 NIV]

 

Sometimes in order to be filled, we need to stretch ourselves out and show that we're ready and longing to be filled.

 

We need to enlarge our hearts and empty them of the things that clutter our lives, without truly filling them.

 

In short, we need bigger handbags.

 

 

 

* Or manbag, if you'd prefer.

 

 

 

 

Pregnant

No, this is not an announcement.

 

I'm not pregnant, but I know a lot of people who are.  I seem to have reached that age where I am surrounded by families who are expecting.

 

And it's got me thinking about 'expecting' in general. 

 

Whilst it's good to look forward to things and to be expectant, sometimes we can end up looking forward to them so much that we forget to live in the moment.  We set up markers in our lives and eagerly anticipate them, imagining that our lives will be so much better when they arrive. 

 

When I graduate, when I get a job, when I get a better job, when I get a promotion, when I have more money, when I buy a house, when I find 'someone special', when I get engaged, when I get married, when I have children ...

 

The problem is, if we're always looking to the next marker, we don't live a full life right now.  We look to the things on the horizon and miss the things at our feet.

 

It's a bit like waiting for something you've ordered to be delivered.  You're told it will arrive between 12 and 6, so you wait in to make sure you don't miss it.  Every time the doorbell goes, you think it will be the delivery; every time a car or van slows down outside, you rush to the window.  You don't want to start anything or settle down to any job or task, because your mind is elsewhere.

 

And of course the delivery never arrives before 6.

 

And so we waste the whole day.  Never fully committing to anything else, never really starting or getting stuck in.

 

But Jesus says that He came to give us a full life, and not just when we die - a full life now:

"I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of."

 

[John 10:10 MSG]

Jesus doesn't want us to wait for something significant to happen before we start embracing this full life.  He wants us to enter into it now.  We can wait for the markers in our lives to arrive, but we can wait actively, preparing ourselves and making the most of the time.  Waiting is essential for growing us and developing us and disciplining us and teaching us.  It is as essential for us as it is for a pregnant mother waiting for her baby to develop.

 

Paul says in Romans, 

"That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy."

 

[Romans 8:25 MSG] 

 

The time we spend waiting is only wasted time if we waste it.