First Footing

There is a Scottish/Northern English New Year's tradition called 'First Footing' which we take part in every year.

The first foot across the threshold in the New Year must bring several gifts, all of which symbolise good things for the year to come: money (financial security), bread (food for the year), coal (heating and warmth), salt (flavour) and alcohol (good cheer).

It's a lovely symbol and makes us stop and think for a short while about what we allow into our homes - on this first day of the year, and throughout the year to come.

It made me think about what I allow into my heart and my mind too. Do I just accept anything that wanders in, or do I think about my thoughts and only allow those things in which will bring health and wellbeing?

It's easy to get caught up in negative and destructive thought patterns, but the Bible advises,

"I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse."

[Philippians 4:8 MSG]

These are good things to fill my mind with, both on the first day of this new year and for the rest of the year.

Perhaps I need to give myself a mental 'First-Footing' and decide what thoughts I want to allow into my mind for the year to come.

The Wardrobe Of Our Thoughts

I bought the film 'Eat, Pray, Love' the other day and am just rewatching it this evening.

 

It's about a woman who is dissatisfied with her life in New York and decides to travel to Italy, India and Bali to find herself again.

 

At one point, when she is on a spiritual retreat in India, a man she has sort of befriended tells her she has to start choosing what thoughts to 'put on' in the same way that she chooses what clothes to wear.

 

I don't spend very long choosing what to wear in the mornings.  The formula is simple: always work from the feet up.  Is it raining or freezing?  Yes - boots and something that will go with boots.  No - heels (or sandals in the summer) and something that will go with heels.

 

But when it comes to our thoughts, too easily we let ourselves think things without thinking about them - we think without thinking.

 

We throw on any old thoughts, regardless of whether they are flattering or 'our size' or if they suit us.  We put our thoughts on without wondering if they are true.

 

I have recently challenged myself to stop using the word 'should' in my own thoughts and conversations with myself.  'Should' makes me feel as though I am obliged to do something and I don't measure up.  'Should' suggests I fall short.  'Should' makes me feel that there is only one right and perfect way of doing things.

 

As someone who is trying to break free from the hold of perfectionism and the feeling that there is always only one right way of doing something, eliminating 'Should' has been a big help.

 

Now, I find myself thinking, "I could have done that" or "I would like to do this".

 

I have started to rethink my thinking.

 

The Bible talks about taking control over our thoughts and rethinking our thinking:

"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.  On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

 

[2 Corinthians 10:1-6 NIV]
 

We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

If my thoughts - about myself and other people - don't measure up or match what Christ thinks, I need to change them, to make them line up with what God says. 

I need to rethink my thinking. 

 

Becoming and Believing

I have just bought 'The Help' on DVD and am halfway through.  I read the book and watched it when it came out at the cinema, but I had forgotten some of the finer details of the plot.

 

The story is set in Jacksonville, Mississippi in the 60s, when racial tensions were high.  It explores life from the point of view of the 'help' - the coloured maids who work for the white families.

 

Their primary job is raising the children of these white families; indeed, they are more like parents to the children than their real parents. 

 

One of the main characters, Aibileen, looks after a small girl, Mae-Mobley.  Mae's own mother , Elizabeth, doesn't pay her much attention: she never hugs her or kisses her or spends time with her.  She never really looks at her or chats to her.  It is as if Elizabeth sees her daughter as a commodity or a status-symbol rather than a person.

 

It is Aibileen who instills a sense of self and self-worth in Mae-Mobley.  Every day, several times a day, Aibileen says to her,

"You is kind.  You is smart.  You is important."

 

And she teaches Mae to say these words to herself over and over until they sink in.

 

What we say to ourselves matters.  What we say about ourselves matters.

 

How often do we say negative or critical things to ourselves without really thinking about them?   

 

You're so stupid.  You'll never make it.  What are you thinking?  You're a failure.  You'll never measure up.  You're not good enough.

 

What we say about ourselves matters: it sinks into our skin and becomes a part of who we are.  Maybe not the first time we say it, but over time if we keep repeating the same messages, we will start to believe them.  Without questioning them.

 

After a while, they start to feel like the truth.

 

The Bible says,

"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he."

[Proverbs 23:7 KJV]

 

We become what we believe about ourselves.

 

So we need to make sure the things we are thinking are right.

 

Each one of us is hand-crafted and carefully created.

"We are God's "masterpiece."

[Ephesians 2:10 NLT]

  

So let's make sure that's what we tell ourselves.