I Like Myself The Way I Am

I was feeling a bit blue this afternoon about one thing and another and I happened to catch the end of the film 'Penelope'. 

 

I remember watching it at some point in the past, but I couldn't remember the whole storyline.

 

Penelope is a girl born with a curse - she has the nose of a pig.  And because of that, she is rejected by everyone apart from her parents and is forced to live at home, never leaving the house.

 

She misses out on so many things, because she is concerned by what people think of her and by the unkind things that they say to her.

 

Naturally, she is self-conscious and insecure.  She doesn't really love herself.

 

It is not until the end of the film that she realises that the one person's opinion that influences and affects her self-esteem is her own.

 

I love this line at the end of the film when she realises this - "I like myself the way I am."

 

It is such a powerful moment.

 

I don't always believe this about myself.  There are lots of things that I would like to change about myself, but I want to start saying this over myself.

 

I want to speak God's words over myself:

 

“You are my Son [daughter], chosen and marked by my love, pride of my life.”

 

[Luke 3:22 MSG]

 

I love these words in the chorus of 'Beautiful' by Mercyme -

 

       You're beautiful

       You're beautiful

       You are made for so much more than all of this

       You're beautiful

       You're beautiful

       You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His

       You're beautiful

 

 

Why Going To The Cinema Is Still So Popular

I listened to an interesting article this morning on the radio about the future of the cinema and whether or not films were still popular.

 

There has been a lot of talk lately around this topic, especially with the latest James Bond film breaking box office records.

 

Films, it would seem, are still a very popular form of entertainment.

 

It reminded me of a talk I heard recently about the spirituality of the cinema experience: we sit in silence and whisper in hushed and reverent tones as pictures are played out before our eyes.  We sit back and watch as a story unfolds.  A story of the battle between good and evil. 

 

And we find ourselves caught up in the story. 

 

I find it really interesting as well how popular 3D films are becoming: not content with simply watching these stories and feeling caught up in them as we watch, we now seem to want to be surrounded by them.  Immersed in them.

 

We want to be part of these stories.  We want them to be our stories.

 

Perhaps there is something in our cinema-going which speaks, not just of our love of stories, but of our desire to enter into these grand narratives, of our hope and desire for good to win out over evil. 

 

These are themes and stories and patterns which are repeated and played out in the Bible, and which culminate, ultimately, in the birth and death and resurrection of Jesus.

 

In His story, we find a grand narrative.  We find a fierce battle between good and evil.  And we find that good wins out over evil.

 

Describing the resurrection, Paul writes,

 

       “Death is swallowed up in victory.
       O death, where is your victory?
       O death, where is your sting?"

 

       [1 Corinthians 15:55 NLT]

 

 

What is more, in Jesus' story, we find an invitation to enter in, to fully immerse ourselves in the plot.  To become a part of the story. 

 

If we want to.

 

 

 

 

It's What's On The Inside That Counts

I've just started rewatching the Disney childhood classic 'Aladdin'.

 

At the beginning, the travelling salesman/narrator introduces the magic lamp and tells the audience that, like many things, It might not look like much from the outside, but it's what's on the inside that counts.

 

His line reminds me of Isaiah's description of Jesus:

 

       "He had no special beauty or form to make us notice him;
       there was nothing in his appearance to make us desire him.

       He was hated and rejected by people.
       He had much pain and suffering.
       People would not even look at him.
       He was hated, and we didn’t even notice him."

 

       [Isaiah 53:2-3 NCV]

 

There was nothing stereotypically attractive about Jesus.  Nothing on the outside to make us stop and notice Him.

 

But on the inside.

 

On the inside, He is the most attractive person who has ever lived.

 

But we have to look beneath the surface.  We have to choose to look beneath the surface.

 

The Jews rejected Jesus because He wasn't what they expected: they were waiting for a royal King to rescue them from oppression and to bring God's rule and reign to earth.  They were looking for a figure of strength and power and authority and instead, they found a tiny, weak, helpless baby in a manger.

 

They rejected Him because He didn't look like a King.

 

Sometimes we can reject Jesus because He doesn't fit our stereotype or our preconceptions.  We can reject Him as the One who can fulfil our needs and satisfy the longings of our hearts.  We can reject Him as the answer to our prayers.  We reject Him because He doesn't fit into our preconceived idea of what He should be like.

 

And He doesn't fit into our preconceptions, because He is bigger than them.  He is bigger than our ideas and our imaginings and our hopes and our dreams. 

 

But we only see it when we look beyond the surface.

 

 

 

 

The Wardrobe Of Our Thoughts

I bought the film 'Eat, Pray, Love' the other day and am just rewatching it this evening.

 

It's about a woman who is dissatisfied with her life in New York and decides to travel to Italy, India and Bali to find herself again.

 

At one point, when she is on a spiritual retreat in India, a man she has sort of befriended tells her she has to start choosing what thoughts to 'put on' in the same way that she chooses what clothes to wear.

 

I don't spend very long choosing what to wear in the mornings.  The formula is simple: always work from the feet up.  Is it raining or freezing?  Yes - boots and something that will go with boots.  No - heels (or sandals in the summer) and something that will go with heels.

 

But when it comes to our thoughts, too easily we let ourselves think things without thinking about them - we think without thinking.

 

We throw on any old thoughts, regardless of whether they are flattering or 'our size' or if they suit us.  We put our thoughts on without wondering if they are true.

 

I have recently challenged myself to stop using the word 'should' in my own thoughts and conversations with myself.  'Should' makes me feel as though I am obliged to do something and I don't measure up.  'Should' suggests I fall short.  'Should' makes me feel that there is only one right and perfect way of doing things.

 

As someone who is trying to break free from the hold of perfectionism and the feeling that there is always only one right way of doing something, eliminating 'Should' has been a big help.

 

Now, I find myself thinking, "I could have done that" or "I would like to do this".

 

I have started to rethink my thinking.

 

The Bible talks about taking control over our thoughts and rethinking our thinking:

"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.  On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

 

[2 Corinthians 10:1-6 NIV]
 

We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

If my thoughts - about myself and other people - don't measure up or match what Christ thinks, I need to change them, to make them line up with what God says. 

I need to rethink my thinking. 

 

It's Not Me, It's You

It's not you, it's me.

 

And so ends many a film or TV relationship.  Unable to compromise and make things work, a couple will break up, with one person uttering these infamous words and blaming the breakdown of the relationship on their own failures and shortcomings.

 

We seem to apply the same idea to a relationship with God, too.  We seem to think that God's love is influenced by our failures and shortcomings.  We think it is dependent on who we are and what we've done or not done.  We seem to think that we can alter His opinion of us by doing the right thing.

 

But having a list of 'dos and 'do nots' is religion.  Not relationship.

 

When it comes to a relationship with God, it's not about me.

 

When it comes to God's love, it's not about us or what we do or don't do.  It's about Him.

 

I recently read or heard (I can't remember which and, annoyingly, I can't remember where), an argument between two people about whether or not God could and would love them.  One of them said, "But you don't know me.  God couldn't love me.  Not after everything I've done."

 

This is something that many of us can relate to - it resounds deeply inside us.  You don't really know me - you don't know what I'm like.  If God knows everything about me, then He couldn't love me.  I'm not good enough.

 

But the second person in the above argument replied brilliantly: "You're right, I don't know you at all.  But I don't need to.  I know God.  And I know that He's a God who loves us relentlessly."

 

When it comes to a relationship with God, it starts and ends with Him.

"We love because He first loved us."

 

[1 John 4:19 NIV]

And

"This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

[1 John 4:9-10 NIV]

 

It doesn't start with us, and it doesn't depend on us.

 

It's not me.  It's You.

 

 

 

 

 

Preview

I've been thinking about trailers this evening.  Not the sort that you attach to your car, but the sort which advertise a film or a TV programme.

 

They give us a quick and intriguing insight into what's coming up next, or try to persuade us to go and watch a film.

 

Sometimes I wish I had a trailer for my life: I'd love to know how the storyline pans out and what's going to happen.  Or even a short weekly trailer: a quick snippet of what to expect in the next week.  The highlights and the low points, the things to look out for and the things that will be stressful.  I wouldn't have to worry about things, I could be prepared for everything.  Nothing would catch me out.

 

But my life wouldn't be very exciting - I wouldn't really be living.  It'd be like simply reading through a script which I hadn't written, but couldn't control.  It would be boring, at best, and deeply dissatisfying at worst.

 

I don't know how my life will unfold and what will happen, but I do know and trust that God has got good plans for me.

 

This is one of my favourite verses in the whole Bible and it reminds me to trust in God when I feel that I don't really have a clue what is happening in my life:

 

         "The Lord will guide you always;
         he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
         and will strengthen your frame.
         You will be like a well-watered garden,
         like a spring whose waters never fail."

 

[Isaiah 58:11 NIV]

 

I want to be guided by God.  I want a life that is satisfied, even in difficult circumstances. I want a strong frame.  I want to be 'well-watered'; I want to be a spring that never runs dry.

 

Like a trailer for a film or the next episode of a TV programme, this verse doesn't give away the whole plot.  It doesn't give us all of the details, but it gives enough detail to make me want to read on.

 

And it's not just a preview for my life.  It's a preview for all of us.  If we want it.