This Time Next Year

I read a really interesting article today: it imagined that it was the end of 2013 and reflected on what had happened over the past year.

 

It made me think about what might happen to me and for me in 2013 and what I'll be thinking or feeling this time next year.

 

So often, we have a tendency to drift through life, without really paying attention to what's happening.  We keep our heads down for the most part and only raise them at significant moments - birthdays, Easter, Christmas, holidays - and when we raise them and look around us, we are astonished at how quickly the time has passed. 

 

Sometimes we can feel as though we haven't really achieved anything or moved forwards in any way.  Time drifts past and we remain unaltered.

 

But if we want to look back this time next year and feel that things have changed - that we have changed - we need to be intentional about it.  We need to look around us and take stock of things and decide what we want to happen in the next year.

 

Obviously not everything is in our control, but often a lot more is in our control than we realise.  Sometimes it is nicer and safer to assume that nothing is in our control - we don't have to feel responsible when things don't go our way.

 

The best thing is to take some time to honestly assess where we are right now and to spend some time thinking and praying through where we hope to be this time next year.  For although we can plan where we'd like to be, God's plans are not always the same as ours.

 

        "'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the Lord.

        'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.

        For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,

        so my ways are higher than your ways

        and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'"

 

        [Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT]

 

 

No matter what we can plan or imagine for the year to come, God's plans will always surpass ours.  His plans are bigger than ours.  Unimaginable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deep

When I am in the sea, I love swimming out until I can only just touch the bottom with the very tip of my big toe.

But I panic as soon as I am too far out and am in too deep and I hurriedly swim back to the shallows.

I do the same in life, too. I swim to the edge of my comfort zone, to the edge of my safety, but I always make sure I can still touch the bottom. Just.

And I panic when I go beyond this point, when I am no longer comfortable or in control.

But God calls us to go deeper. To swim out past our comfort zone, to go beyond our feelings of safety and security and control.

I have been reflecting on this verse this morning:

"Deep calls to deep"

[Psalm 42:7 NIV]

I don't fully understand this verse, but I think it relates to the idea that when we are in the depths of something, when we are in the "deep" places and we call out to God, His Spirit will call to us and will meet us there. He is the One urging us into new depths in our understanding of Him.

I think God beckons us into the deeper water, into the deeper walks of life because He longs to do a deep and lasting and profound thing in our hearts and in our lives. He is not interested in us simply playing in the shallows.

And if we are honest, how many of us are interested in staying in the shallows, really?

Yes, it's safe and sheltered and secure. But is it really living? Weren't we made for more?

We were made for deep relationship, with God, with ourselves and with others.

We were made for open waters and deep seas. For a dangerously exciting risky adventure with God.

We were made to go deep. And when we do and we cry out to God, He will meet us there.

Control Freaks and Picket Fences

I was recently called a Control Freak by a friend.  It was completely justified.  I am a total Control Freak.

I like to know everything that's happening.  I like to be in charge.  I like planning and preparing for different outcomes.  I like to feel organised.

And I'm not alone.  As Mary Alice says in Desperate Housewives,

"Control.  It's extraordinary the tactics people employ to obtain it: some rely on deception, while others engage in outright trickery.  Then there are those who resort to extortion.  Why do we fight so hard for control?  Because we know to lose it is to put our fate in the hands of others.  And what could be more dangerous?"

Control makes us feel safe.  It makes us feel powerful.  It is a form of protection.

But I have realised recently that so many of the things that I spend my time and energy trying to 'control' are, ironically, out of my control.

I spend my time fussing and worrying about other people's opinions of me, about their expectations of me and whether or not I am 'meeting' them.  I spend my time trying to plan for different events and 'covering' all eventualities.

And in all of this, I forget the only thing over which I do have real control: myself.

I can only really control my own thoughts and opinions and beliefs and desires and hopes and dreams and actions and words. 

And that is hard enough.

Fences demonstrate the boundaries between gardens and it would be strange and unnecessary if I took it upon myself to tend to someone else's lawn without their knowledge or consent.  It is not my responsibility. 

In the same way, I need to learn where I end and other people begin. I need to learn what is within my 'control' and what I can realistically change and influence. And then I need to learn how to 'control' what is mine.

If we don't have healthy 'fences' or boundaries between us and others, we will exhaust ourselves trying to take care of other people who should be taking care of themselves.  And we will open ourselves up to attack in all forms if we don't have secure boundaries around ourselves.

"A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls."

[Proverbs 25:28 NLT]

Rather than exhausting my resources by trying to control others, I need to understand what it truly means to control myself, to develop self-control.  For it is in developing an awareness of who we are (and who we aren't), in Christ, and growing in self-control with the help of the Holy Spirit [Galatians 5:22], that we find real safety and security.  That is where we find true power.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

[2 Timothy 1:7 NIV, emphasis mine]