Why Tidying Is Not Always A Good Thing

Whenever people come round to my flat, I always feel the need to tidy things up a bit - even if all I do is 'neaten' the mess.

 

The other day, before a friend came round, I only had time to complete one task.  I found myself thinking: I'll do the washing up rather than the ironing.  Having my washing out is a sign that I am clean - I have done my washing.  But having dirty dishes stacked up seems dirty and unclean.

 

I made my mess 'acceptable'.

 

Or if I haven't had time to tidy, I find myself apologising and telling people to forgive or ignore the mess.

 

I was challenged today by how I do this spiritually as well: I present my 'problems' in a tidy package.  I make my mess 'acceptable'.  Or I apologise for it and ask people to ignore it.

 

I was trying to think of what would be an appropriate response to someone seeing the messiness of my life - both the literal mess and the spiritual mess.

 

Asking them to ignore it or forgive it or imagine it's not there is neither possible nor helpful.  Frantically rushing around before they arrive to tidy up (or panicking over unplanned guests), leaves me exhausted and wondering if I've missed a bit.

 

Perhaps a much better response would be to say, Here is my mess, please could you help me sort it out?

 

I want to be honest about my struggles and my mess.  Because in honesty there is freedom.  And because no one can help you clear up the mess if you don't let them see it.

 

The Psalmist wrote,

 

"And me?  I'm a mess.  I'm nothing and have nothing: make something of me. You can do it; you've got what it takes."

 

[Psalm 40:17 MSG] 

 

God does have what it takes to make something of us.  But first we have to acknowledge and own our mess.  Rather than hiding it, or ignoring it and asking others to ignore it too.

 

 

 

Creativity and Perfection

I love all creative things.  I love creating.

 

I have listened to a fascinating talk this evening by Julie Burstein about creativity and the tension in creativity between what we can control and what we have to let go of.

 

She describes how when we are creative, we can't control everything - we have to let go of some things.  If we have a strict idea of what we want to achieve and what we want our creativity to look like, we will restrict ourselves and our creativity.

 

Creativity and perfectionism are often enemies.

 

I remember in Art GCSE at school my Art teacher telling us how she had been at a workshop and each person had to paint something.  They were asked to pause after about 20 minutes and share with the rest of the group which part of their painting they liked the most.

 

They all proudly pointed out which bits they thought were best and explained why.

 

And then the tutor asked them to paint over those perfect parts - to wipe them away - and to continue painting.

 

You can imagine my teacher's feelings as she was asked to paint over what she perceived to be the best part of her work.

 

But she said that after wrestling with the idea, when she did finally paint over the 'perfect' bit, she was much freer in her painting.  She wasn't limited or restricted by trying to make the rest of the painting as 'perfect' as the small bit she was proud of.

 

If we hold on to the idea of doing something (anything) perfectly, it will stand in the way of real creativity.  We will tiptoe around the perfect bits, scared to disrupt or ruin them.

 

Scott Adams says,

"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes."

 

Or perhaps we could say, Creativity is allowing yourself the freedom to be less than perfect.

 

As someone who has spent a long time trying (and obviously failing) to be perfect, this is so freeing.  I want to be creative, I want to be free to make mistakes.

 

Paul urged the Galatian church,

"Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand!  Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you."

 

[Galatians 5:1 MSG]

 

Even something as seemingly good as perfection can become a form of slavery.

 

Let's not let our drive for 'perfection' strip us of our God-given, messy, colouring-outside-the-lines creativity.

 

 

 

 

When I Am Weak, Then I Am Strong

I love painting my nails.

 

I love painting them with vibrant colours and soft pastel hues.  I love transforming something ordinary into something colourful and beautiful.  And I find it really relaxing and satisfying and indulgent - if only for 10 minutes.

 

But the problem with painting your nails is that pretty soon after you are done, they smudge or chip or flake.  Even if the nail varnish claims to be 'fast-drying' or 'chip-resistant' or 'hard-wearing'.  Unless you don't use your hands at all after you have painted your nails, you can pretty much guarantee that they are going to chip.

 

And when they're chipped, they never look as good.  Yes, there's still a trace of the colour left and a trace of your effort in painting them, but it almost looks worse than if you hadn't painted them at all.

 

And then there's the question of whether you keep painting over the chips and filling in all of the blank bits, or just surrender to fate and wipe it all away.

 

In the same way, I sometimes find when I start something new and it fails, or doesn't go the way I want it to, I'm faced with the question of whether to keep painting over the cracks, or to wipe away every trace of my trying.

 

I don't want people to see the cracked, chipped, messy bits - I want to paint over them and keep up a perfect appearance.

 

But that is neither real, nor possible.

 

I wrote yesterday about life - real life - being messy and far from the perfection that so many of us chase.  In the same way, when I paint my nails, I would love for them to stay perfect and unchipped, but it's not a real reflection of life. 

 

Paul writes in Corinthians about an occasion where he prayed to ask God to remove something from his life, which he felt was a weakness - an imperfection:

"He [God] said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."

 

 [2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV] 

 

For when I am weak, then I am strong.

 

Instead of never painting my nails, or frantically repainting over the cracks and chips every time they appear, I will continue to paint my nails and enjoy the colour they bring. But when they chip and flake, I will be reminded of my weaknesses and the fact that I don't need to hide them or cover them up. And I will be reminded of the fact that I am not perfect. And that is a good thing. 

 

For His power is made perfect in my imperfect weakness. 

 

 

 

 

 

My Life Is A Mess

Whenever I tidy something or have a 'spring clean', everything always looks worse, much worse, when I am half-way through.  And when it looks like that - with so many piles of stuff everywhere that you wonder where it was all hiding - I always question why I started.

 

It's at times like these when I have to fight the strong temptation to just walk away.  Or to shove it all into a box or under the bed, out of sight.

 

It seems to be, as Jane Austen would say, "a truth universally acknowledged" that things have to get worse before they get better when it comes to tidying and cleaning.  I wonder if there is some sort of science behind it all?

 

And it seems that when we are sorting things out in our hearts and in our lives, things often get messy before they get better as well.  And we have to fight the same temptation to run away and to hide our issues under the bed again.

 

Sometimes in order to sort things out and to be put back together, we need to first be taken from together.  We need to be broken in order to be properly mended.  And that is messy.

 

But God is in the mess with us.  And He will help to rebuild us.

 

      "For God is out to help Zion,

      Rebuilding the wrecked towns of Judah."

 

       [Psalm 69:35 MSG]

 

       And,

 

       "You’ll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew,
       rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
       You’ll be known as those who can fix anything,
       restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate,
       make the community livable again.

 

      [Isaiah 58:12 MSG]

 

I heard this the other day,

"Have the courage to be imperfect."

I have spent most of my life chasing perfection.  The illusive idea that if I tried just a little bit harder, if I was just a little bit better, my life might be easier/better/more fulfilling.

 

I have run from imperfection and mess.  But I am beginning to realise that it is in embracing and wrestling with the mess that we find ourselves.  And in doing so, we find contentment and fulfilment.

 

We are all works in progress.  We are all half-way through the 'sorting out' process.  We are not finished products.  We are being refined and reshaped and recast day after day after day.

 

I'm not sure I have the courage to be imperfect.  But I want to try.

 

I want to be comfortable living in the mess, because that's where the life is.