Instant Upgrade

I have spent part of this morning updating all of the apps on my phone.

 

I have had notifications for weeks that there were new versions available and I have ignored them.  But something this morning moved me to action.

 

I'm not sure that they were all necessary, but I am now fully up-to-date (for the time being).

 

About a year ago, I attempted to update the software on my phone.  However, far from being the quick and simple task that I had imagined (and which I have enjoyed this morning), after four hours, not only had my phone not updated, it had crashed and frozen.

 

I had lost all of the data on my phone.

 

Apparently my laptop only had USB ports and not USB2 ports (who knew they existed?) and so the information couldn't be transferred because the USB port wasn't powerful enough (I'm sure it's more technical than that, but that was what I gleaned after many hours on the phone to the help desk).

 

Eventually - after locating a computer with the sacred USB2 ports - I was able to save most of my data and upgrade it.

 

However, since then, although I have upgraded the apps on my phone, I have avoided upgrading the software.  I don't want to risk losing everything again.

 

I think sometimes with spiritual growth and self-awareness, we have a similar approach: we hope that there will be some sort of 'Instant Download' or 'Instant Upgrade' that we can install in our hearts with very little effort or fuss.

 

The fear in engaging properly is that, as with my phone, the 'upgrading' process might wipe all of our previous data.  It might not be a simple task, we might have to re-enter some things and accept that other things are lost.

 

It might change us.

 

When David prayed and asked God to search and test his heart, he knew that it would be uncomfortable and would change him.

 

        "Search me, O God, and know my heart;
        test me and know my anxious thoughts.
        Point out anything in me that offends you,
        and lead me along the path of everlasting life."

 

        [Psalm 139:23-24 NLT]
 

Point out anything in me that offends you.

 

I'm not sure I like that prayer.

 

It is much more comfortable and much easier and far less time-consuming to simply not bother.  So what if we don't have the latest upgrade?  Are we really missing out? 

 

Lead me along the path of everlasting life.

 

If I want to walk in the path of life, I need to choose to engage with the process of 'upgrading', no matter how time-consuming or costly or inconvenient it is.  No matter how uncomfortable it makes me, or how much effort it takes.

 

If I want the full, whole life that Jesus came to give me, I need to wrestle with the issues that are holding me back.  No matter what it takes.


 

 

 

Verbs

To this day, I can still clearly picture and recite several irregular French verbs.  For our GCSEs, we were given a table which we had to memorise and it has remained ingrained in my mind ever since.

 

 

 Je vais

Tu vas

Il/elle va

Nous allons

Vous allez

Ils/elles vont

 

 

I have been thinking today about different verbs.  And, in particular, the difference between being and doing. 

I haven't really done much today, and that sits uncomfortably with me.  I am not very good at being and not doing. I feel guilty or lazy if I am not in action. I feel that I ought to be doing something all the time. And I think I worry about it because I still easily slip into thinking that my worth or my identity comes from what I do, not who I am.

 

 

We are human beings, but so often we identify ourselves as human doings.  We are concerned more by our actions and our roles than who we are when no one's looking and we are just still.

We fear that if we are still, we will lose sight of ourselves.

Perhaps this is why God reminded us to

“Be still, and know that I am God."

[Psalm 46:10 NIV]

My identity doesn't come from myself.  I am not defined by what I do or don't do.  I am defined by what Jesus has done and by what God says about me.  I am His child, His precious daughter [2 Corinthians 6:17].

When I am tempted to keep busy to feel better about myself, I need to stop what I am doing and remind myself of who God is and what He has done.  For that is where I find myself.

I have been listening to this song a lot lately.  It is called 'Beautiful' by MercyMe and is, as the name suggests, a beautiful song about our true identity.

The days will come when you don't have the strength

When all you hear is you're not worth anything

Wondering if you ever could be loved

And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much
You're beautiful

You're beautiful

You are made so much more than all of this

You're beautiful

You're beautiful

You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His

You're beautiful
I'm praying that you have the heart to fight

'Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight

For all the lies you've held inside so long

They are nothing in the shadow of the cross
You're beautiful

You're beautiful

You are made so much more than all of this

You're beautiful

You're beautiful

You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His

Coaching

I have been really enjoying watching the gymnastics at the Olympics over the last couple of days.  I am always amazed by how flexible and strong the gymnasts are, and by how effortless it all appears.

I have just been watching the uneven bars and have been amazed, not just by the gymnasts, but by the coaches.  Apparently they have to remain under the bars whilst their gymnast competes, which is called 'spotting'.  They are there for the safety of their gymnast. 

Some of the coaches I have seen this afternoon have been literally millimetres away from the gymnasts as the gymnasts have swung from bar to bar.  Every time the gymnasts looked as though they might fall, the coaches would reach out a hand, ready to steady them or grab them.  But if they do touch the gymnasts whilst they are still on the bars, there is a penalty.  Consequently, the coaches have the tricky job of needing to be ready to step in and support the gymnast if needed, but maintaining their distance if not.

Of course, the gymnast hopes they won't need the support of their coach whilst they are competing, but it is reassuring to know they are there.

Jesus told His disciples that He would send them a 'coach'  when He returned to heaven; someone who would encourage and support and protect them:

"When the Friend comes, the Spirit of Truth, he will take you by the hand and guide you into all the truth there is.  He won't draw attention to himself, but will make sense out of what is about to happen and, indeed, out of all that I have done and said."

[John 16:13-14 MSG]

Our coach is the Holy Spirit.  Someone who is on our team and wants the best for us; someone who will support and uphold us; someone who will always be there for us, ready to pick us back up when we fall.

He holds us by the hand and guides us into a deeper understanding of ourselves, and of God.  He doesn't draw attention to Himself, in the same way that a gymnast's coach doesn't draw attention to himself.  But He is always ready to step in and help us, whenever we need it.

That's the kind of coach I want.

"Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand."

[Psalm 37:24 NLT]