Feel The Fear

I often find that, when our ears and eyes are open, God speaks in the most remarkable and unexpected ways.

 

I have been worrying and feeling anxious and fearful about something all week.  And then, today, I read this.  Despite the grammatical error, it spoke to me. 

"I put fear away and done it anyway."

 

Fear.

 

It grips us and strangles us and chokes the life from us.

 

But it doesn't have to.

 

Fear is a choice.  We can't decide whether or not we will feel fear.  But we can choose whether or not we let ourselves become paralysed by it.

 

God promises,

 

 

           "There’s no need to fear for I’m your God.
           I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you.
           I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you."

 

           [Isaiah 41:10 MSG]

 

 

With God on our side, we don't need to succumb to fear.  He will give us strength and will keep a firm grip on us.  He will keep us steady.  He will hold our hands as we walk through the fear.

 

We can choose to feel the fear, but not be stopped by it.

 

With His help, we can choose to say, 'I put fear away and done it anyway'.

 

 

 

 

Too Many Clothes

The rail in my wardrobe has broken.

 

I heard an unidentifiable crash a few evenings ago and now have a clothes rail which is hanging at an acute angle.  I have tried to screw it back in place, but I think I need some heavy duty toolmanship to properly sort the problem.

 

Of course, it would be easy to assume I have too many clothes and therefore ought to sort through them and decrease my wardrobe.

 

However, I hope instead to find someone with an electric drill who can help to re-establish the rail and restore harmony to my wardrobe.

 

Sometimes in life, I have too much in my wardrobe, too.  I am trying to carry too many things, or deal with too many things, and the 'rails' bend and break from the strain.

 

But Jesus tells us that we don't need to carry a heavy load.  In fact, if we follow Him, we have an easy load to bear:

"Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

 

[Matthew 11:28-30 NLT] 

 

And in another translation,

 

"I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

 

[Matthew 11:30 MSG]

 

Often, we try to cram too much into our 'wardrobes'.  We hold onto things that no longer fit or suit us.  We can't bear to part with our old outfits.  And we do it because it feels safe and comfortable.  We would rather have too much and feel secure, than have an empty wardrobe and wonder who we are.

 

But we weren't made to carry a heavy burden.  We were made for a light load.  And when we try to carry or hold too much, we end up with broken rails.

 

I want to learn to accept Jesus' words and live freely and lightly in a spiritual sense.  But I think I'll keep the clothes.

 

 

 

 

Why I Struggle With 'Holiness'

When I hear the word 'holy' in relation to a person, I think dull, boring, judgemental, critical, holier-than-thou.  I  don't imagine I will have anything in common with them and I don't really want to get to know them.

 

When I hear the word 'holy' in relation to God, I think distant, separate, untouchable, wouldn't understand.  I picture the holiness of God as something that I would be scared to approach, for fear of my own undeniable and inherent unholiness.  Even though I know the Bible says we can approach God's throne boldly through Jesus, the idea of God's holiness still makes me feel uncomfortable.

 

But when I hear holiness like this, my thoughts change:

 

"Holiness is the most attractive quality, the most intense experience we ever get of sheer life - authentic, first-hand living, not life looked at and lived from a distance ... Holiness is a furnace that transforms the men and women who enter it.

 

Wow.

 

 

This view of holiness is interesting, beautiful, attractive, life-giving, transforming, inviting.

 

And this is what Jesus offers.  Holiness, a whole-life.  Aren't they the same thing?  Holiness is a full life, a real life, an exciting life, a transformed life.  And it is a life that is possible through Jesus.

"I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of."

 

[John 10:10 MSG] 

 

This is the view of holiness I want. This is the kind of holiness I want in my life.

Life Is Like A Box Of Chocolates

Forrest Gump once said, Life is like a box of chocolates: You never know what you're going to get.

 

I have been working my way through a box of chocolates this evening, but the thing with most chocolates these days is that you know exactly what you're going to get because they come with a small description of the contents of each chocolate.  If there's something that you don't like, you can avoid it.  Equally, if there are one or two that you are particularly fond of, you can easily make sure that you get to enjoy them before anyone else.

 

Sometimes I wish life was like a box of chocolates.  It would nice to be able to select the things that you'd like in your life and to avoid those things that you're not that keen on.

 

Unfortunately, however, we don't get to pick and choose our way through life.  Nor do we get to read all the 'ingredients' of different events and circumstances before they happen.

 

But whilst we don't know what is coming our way, God does.  And He remains the same throughout it all.  Constant, faithful, on our side.

 

"When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour."

 

[Isaiah 43:2-3 NLT]

 

Whilst we don't know what life will bring us, we do know the One who will walk with us through everything that life throws at us.

 

 

Losing Faith

It's another Gilmore Girls evening for me.

 

In the episode I've just been watching, one of the characters fears that she has lost her faith, so her friend goes round to give it back to her.

 

It's an interesting concept: losing your faith.

 

No matter what we believe, there are always moments when we question our beliefs.  There are moments when we wonder if what we believe is really true, when we doubt ourselves and our faith.

 

But doubt is not the opposite of faith, or the absence of faith.  It is an integral and inseparable part of faith.

 

In fact, even if you lose faith in something and stop believing it, you will unintentionally and automatically start believing in something else.  We all have faith in something: God, religion, science, nature, ourselves ...

 

Faith is believing in things that we can't see, or don't know for sure.  If it could be proved indisputably, it would be fact.

 

The Bible says,

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

 

[Hebrews 11:1 NIV]

 

Doubting is not the absence or loss of faith, but rather the strengthening of it.

 

Without questioning and doubting and wrestling, our faith never grows or develops.  It is through this doubting and refining and redefining that our faith is strengthened.

 

We cannot have faith without doubt. 

 

 

Love Yourself

Loving yourself is not terribly British.  Blowing one's own trumpet or singing one's praises seems unnecessary.

 

We Brits are far more likely to talk ourselves down, to feign 'humility' or 'modesty' by saying that we're not all that good at something actually, or we must have just got lucky.

 

We don't really celebrate ourselves (at least, not out loud for other people to hear us - for fear of seeming arrogant and conceited), and we don't really know how to love ourselves.

 

But until we can love and accept ourselves, we will never be able to truly love others.

 

You can't give something you haven't got.

 

There is an assumption throughout the Bible that we will love ourselves.  And love ourselves well.  In fact, Jesus said that the second most important command was for us to love our neighbours as we love ourselves [Matthew 22:39].

 

Loving ourselves is important.  It is fundamental.  Brene Brown writes,

 

"Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do."

 

And as Carrie Bradshaw says in Sex and the City -

"The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all, is the one you have with yourself."

 

I love this passage in Ephesians about love -

"Mostly what God does is love you.  Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us.  His love was not cautious but extravagant.  He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us.  Love like that."
 

[Ephesians 5:2 MSG]

We can only love like that - giving everything of ourselves to others without trying to get something back - when we are secure in ourselves and when we have accepted God's love for us and have begun to love ourselves.

 

 

 

 

Because You're Worth It

I've started reading a really interesting book today called 'The Gifts of Imperfection' by Brene Brown. 

 

As someone who constantly battles with perfectionism, the idea that imperfection could be okay, let alone a gift, is quite a difficult one for me to swallow.  However, the first section that I've been reading has been really interesting.

 

In one of the early chapters, she describes the concept of worthiness - feeling worthy, or good enough, for love and belonging -

 

"The biggest challenge for most of us is believing that we are worthy now, right this minute.  Worthiness doesn't have prerequisites.  So many of us have knowingly created/unknowingly allowed/been handed down a long list of worthiness prerequisites [she continues to list the 'prerequisites we conjure up to become 'worthy' of love and belonging] ... We are worthy of love and belonging now.  Right this minute.  As is."

 

I love how this concept of worthy right now is seen in Jesus and beautifully displayed through His ministry.  Jesus reached out and touched the blind, the 'unclean', the rejected.  He touched the outsiders of society and called them worthy.  And in declaring them worthy, they became worthy.

 

It is the same with us.

 

He reaches out to us and embraces us, no matter where we find ourselves, or what we have done or thought or believed.  And He declares us worthy.  Because of His great love, manifested in His death for us on the cross.

 

"Immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us.  He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ [...] Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah."

 

[Ephesians 2:4, 6 MSG] 

 

We can't earn God's love.  But we don't need to.

 

We are worthy because He says we are.