4 Degrees

I heard on the radio the other day that with the advent of Facebook and Twitter and other social media, there are now only 4 degrees of separation between everyone on the planet.

4 degrees.

I know someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows me.*

But what does it really mean to 'know' someone?  Is it enough to simply know their name?  And does that really make us 'friends'? 

In his book "The Best Idea in the World", Mark Greene writes,

"We are globally wired, but relationally disconnected, touched a million times a day but rarely embraced."

The internet and modern mobile phone technology have changed the face of our relationships: we send texts and emails instead of talking on the phone or meeting face to face; we communicate with people through 140 characters or less instead of engaging in extended conversations; we ‘follow’ people, whether they want us to or not (which, in 'real life' would perhaps be classed as stalking ...).  On Facebook, we can 'become' friends with someone instantly: we meet them at a party or at church or through a friend of a friend and that same day we become 'friends'.

We are in danger of reducing the meaning and value of friendship.  People become commodities to acquire rather than valuable image-bearers of God to love and to serve.**

Jesus set the example for our friendships by modelling the kind of love He wanted us to have for each other:

This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you.  This is the very best way to love.  Put your life on the line for your friends.  You are my friends when you do the things I command you.  I'm no longer calling you servants because servants don't understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I've named you friends because I've let you in on everything I've heard from the Father."

[John 15:12-15 MSG emphasis mine]

In stark contrast to a society which collects 'friends' like Pokémon, Jesus calls us to genuine, deep spirited friendship.  The kind of friendship which spends time getting to know someone, which values their individuality and loves them.  A friendship which wants the best for them, even at the expense of ourselves.  A friendship which is modelled on Christ's self-sacrificial love for us.

In Philippians, Paul writes,

If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favour: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends.  Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top.  Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead.  Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage.  Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

        [Philippians 2:1-4 MSG] 

If Facebook had a 'Friend Clause' - by clicking 'Add Friend' you are committing to put yourself aside and put this person first - I wonder how many 'Friends' I would have.  And how many I would add.

* I may well have missed out a link here; maths is not my strong point.

** Don't get me wrong: I use both Facebook and Twitter daily and am not criticising them in and of themselves; I think they are brilliant tools for staying in touch with people.  However, I think there is a tendency to mistake online communications for real connections, which leaves both us and others dissatisfied.