I Like Myself The Way I Am

I was feeling a bit blue this afternoon about one thing and another and I happened to catch the end of the film 'Penelope'. 

 

I remember watching it at some point in the past, but I couldn't remember the whole storyline.

 

Penelope is a girl born with a curse - she has the nose of a pig.  And because of that, she is rejected by everyone apart from her parents and is forced to live at home, never leaving the house.

 

She misses out on so many things, because she is concerned by what people think of her and by the unkind things that they say to her.

 

Naturally, she is self-conscious and insecure.  She doesn't really love herself.

 

It is not until the end of the film that she realises that the one person's opinion that influences and affects her self-esteem is her own.

 

I love this line at the end of the film when she realises this - "I like myself the way I am."

 

It is such a powerful moment.

 

I don't always believe this about myself.  There are lots of things that I would like to change about myself, but I want to start saying this over myself.

 

I want to speak God's words over myself:

 

“You are my Son [daughter], chosen and marked by my love, pride of my life.”

 

[Luke 3:22 MSG]

 

I love these words in the chorus of 'Beautiful' by Mercyme -

 

       You're beautiful

       You're beautiful

       You are made for so much more than all of this

       You're beautiful

       You're beautiful

       You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His

       You're beautiful

 

 

The Hurt And The Healing

This evening I have been to watch a contemporary dance performance which considered the themes of loss and reconstruction following loss.

 

It was a fascinating portrayal of how loneliness can feel and how other people are essential in carrying us through times of bereavement and in helping us to restructure our lives.

 

There were six dancers in the piece and each one of them, at one point in the performance, was the 'odd one out' - the one by themselves.  The one dancing alone.  The one who was experiencing loss of some kind.

 

They each had a moment of dancing solo.

 

But then the other five would come and gather around them and physically support and strengthen them.  They would dance alongside them and lift and carry them.

 

It was a beautiful image.

 

And it was another wonderful picture of what God imagines the church to be like.

 

Paul writes,

 

"The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don’t, the parts we see and the parts we don’t.  If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing.  If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance."

 

[1 Corinthians 12:25-26 MSG]

 

I love that line: every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. 

 

In the same way that the dancers in tonight's performance were all involved in each other's hurt and healing, this is what God envisions and longs for in His church.

 

 

 

 

Everyone Has A Part To Play

Two nights ago I went to a concert performed by the Philharmonic orchestra.  It was completely wonderful.

 

We were really close to the musicians and I loved watching all of them following their music and working together to create a beautiful harmony.

 

It was really interesting to focus on one group of musicians at a time and to watch them closely: they would often sit still for minutes at a time with no notes to play.  But they still followed the music, waiting for their parts and they were as much a part of the performance as anyone else.

 

I found this particularly fascinating with the triangle player ('Triangulist'?).  He sat through the first two movements of the symphony without moving or playing a single note.  But as the third movement began, he started to play.  I loved seeing how he felt just as much a part of the performance as did the rest of the musicians.  He was engaged with what was going on and was proud of his part.

 

Everyone had a part to play.

 

If they had all played the same thing at the same time, the music would certainly have been loud, but it would also have been dull.  It was the harmonising, overlapping, complementary sounds which enriched the performance.

 

In the same way, the church is like this.  Everyone has their own part to play, their own role to fulfil.  Sometimes this can mean being in the limelight; at other times it will mean sitting quietly and watching someone else playing their part.  Sometimes we will be the soloist, the centre of attention, at other times our role will be to support.

 

Paul's description of the church like a body is useful for us here,

"A body isn’t just a single part blown up into something huge.  It’s all the different-but-similar parts arranged and functioning together.  If Foot said, “I’m not elegant like Hand, embellished with rings; I guess I don’t belong to this body,” would that make it so?  If Ear said, “I’m not beautiful like Eye, limpid and expressive; I don’t deserve a place on the head,” would you want to remove it from the body?  If the body was all eye, how could it hear?  If all ear, how could it smell?  As it is, we see that God has carefully placed each part of the body right where he wanted it.  But I also want you to think about how this keeps your significance from getting blown up into self-importance.  For no matter how significant you are, it is only because of what you are a part of.  An enormous eye or a gigantic hand wouldn’t be a body, but a monster.  What we have is one body with many parts, each its proper size and in its proper place.  No part is important on its own."

 

[1 Corinthians 12:14-20 MSG]

 

No matter what our strengths and weaknesses, we all have a part to play.  No part is important on its own.

 

 

Many Hands Make Light Work

I have been absolutely fascinated watching the builders across the road from me today. 

I have quite literally stopped what I've been doing for 20 minutes at a time to observe their progress.  The flats have shot up - even since yesterday - and I am amazed at the pace of their work.

I noticed today how all of them have their own, individual jobs to complete which fit into the bigger, overarching job.  Some of them were moving bricks with machines.  Some were carefully spreading cement and laying bricks and checking they were level.  Some were filling in the gaps between the outer and inner walls with insulation.  Some were moving and rebuilding the scaffolding surrounding the site.

All of them had their own job to do and all of them were working diligently.

Many hands make light work.

I think it is probably no coincidence that I was listening to 'Build Your Kingdom Here' by Rend Collective when I first paused to watch the builders earlier (listen to it here -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcSWpVKKMcs).

The words of the chorus are -  
 

"Build Your kingdom here
Let the darkness fear
Show Your mighty hand
Heal our streets and land
Set Your church on fire
Win this nation back
Change the atmosphere
Build Your kingdom here
We pray."
 

As I watched the builders today and listened to this song, I was struck by how it offered a beautiful picture of the church: everyone working together on different jobs, to build God's Kingdom on earth. 

We often pray the words of the Lord's Prayer - "Your Kingdom come", but we don't often acknowledge our role in bringing - or building - this Kingdom.

God has a part and a purpose for each of us.  No matter who we are, or how we got here, we all have a role to play in the building of His Kingdom.

"God is building a home.  He’s using us all—irrespective of how we got here—in what he is building.  He used the apostles and prophets for the foundation. Now he’s using you, fitting you in brick by brick, stone by stone, with Christ Jesus as the cornerstone that holds all the parts together.  We see it taking shape day after day—a holy temple built by God, all of us built into it, a temple in which God is quite at home."

[Ephesians 2:20-22 MSG]
 

Many hands make light work.

Vantage Point

From my first-floor flat, I have a brilliant view into the construction site just across the road from me.

 

I noticed earlier that, because of all of the boards surrounding the site, it is virtually impossible to see anything from ground level.  So, whilst someone walking or driving past would only be able to see the very tops of the scaffolding poles, I have a perfect view of everything that is going on.

 

I have watched the ground being dug up.  I have watched the foundations being established.  I have seen the huge breeze blocks being laid and built up.  I have watched the piping going in.  I have watched the insulation being added, before the outer bricks were layered up.

 

I have watched it all.

 

In the same way, I think that when God is working in our hearts, He has this same vantage point: He can see over the 'walls' and watches every little change and development that is going.

 

But sometimes we - and others - can't see past the walls.  We don't have the bird's eye view that God does.

 

So we have to trust that He is doing what He says He will do.

 

We have to trust Paul's words to the church in Thessalonica:

"The One who called you is completely dependable.  If he said it, he’ll do it!"

 

[1 Thessalonians 5:24 MSG]

 

We might not always be able to see what is going on, in the restoration work of our hearts, but we can always trust the One who is overseeing that work.

 

 

 

 

Loving At All Is A Risk

I had the TV on in the background today whilst I was doing some ironing.  I'm not sure what was on - if it was an advert, a trailer, or part of a programme - but I heard the following line, which has been stuck in my mind ever since:

 

"Loving at all is a risk."

 

Love is a risk.

 

C. S. Lewis famously wrote,

 

"To love at all is to be vulnerable.  Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.  But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change.  It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."

 

Last week, I watched a bit of the second Pirates of the Caribbean film.  The 'baddie' in the film is Davey Jones: a man who had his heart broken once and, to avoid further pain, removed it and locked it away in a chest.  He carries the key to the chest about his person at all times, to prevent it ever being touched, or hurt, or broken again.

 

I know there have been times when I have felt like doing the same (obviously metaphorically, not literally).  I have been tempted to shut down my heart, to close for business, to put up a 'Trespassers will be prosecuted' sign.  I have been tempted to shut down and shut the world out.

 

But whilst shutting our hearts down like this will certainly minimise pain, it will also numb all emotion.  We will be safe from harm, but we will also be cut off from true love, real friendship, genuine happiness.  We will miss out on all of the good things that life has to offer.

 

Love is a risk.

 

And we see the ultimate risk-taking love when we look to the cross.  There we see a naked, beaten, vulnerable man bearing His soul to show us His love.

 

Even with no guarantee of the return of our love or affection, God loved us.

 

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

[Romans 5:8 NIV]

 

God showed His love for us.  Powerfully, passionately, personally. 

 

Loving at all is a risk.  But it is worth it.

 

 

Watch What You Say

I talk to myself.  A lot.

 

I talk all the time about all sorts of things.  When I'm driving, when I'm cooking, when I'm cleaning etc.  I'll have conversations about all sorts of things: reviewing things that have happened during the day.  Imagining alternative things that could have happened.  Inventing conversations with other people.

 

Most of the things I say to myself are irrelevant and unimportant. But sometimes I catch myself telling myself how stupid I am, or how I'm not good enough.  Sometimes I hear myself talking negatively and I haven't even noticed myself doing it.

 

And it always seems that the negative things stick.

 

As Vivian says in 'Pretty Woman' -

"The bad stuff is easier to believe.  You ever notice that?"

 

But the Bible tells us how important the words that we use are -

 

          "Words kill, words give life;
          they’re either poison or fruit—you choose."

 

          [Proverbs 18:21 MSG]

 

 

The words that we speak are like seeds which grow either into flowers or weeds.  What we say affects what we believe and how we treat others and ourselves.  If we are always speaking negatively to and about ourselves, we will find ourselves believing these things.

 

The bad stuff is easier to believe.  The good stuff is harder, much harder to believe.  But is also essential.

 

And it is essential that we speak the good stuff about ourselves, until we believe it.