Backtracking

Life is a journey.  Apparently.

 

Sometimes I feel as though I am travelling backwards.  I take the occasional step forward, but my journeying seems to be predominantly backwards.  I am treading over old ground, I am returning to the past.  I am asking old questions, I am revisiting old doubts, I am digging up old wounds and insecurities.

 

All of this feels like a waste of time, and it is frustrating because I feel as though I am moving further away from the horizon. 

 

I want to move forwards.

 

But sometimes, in order to move forward, we need to go over old ground.

 

Sometimes we need to go backwards to get enough of a run-up for the future.  In the same way that athletes prepare themselves for a long jump by walking backwards to get to a good place from which to launch themselves, we sometimes have to backtrack too.

 

That doesn't mean that we relive the past, or become who we were in the past, or repeat the mistakes of the past.  But sometimes in our haste to move forwards, we bury the past and hide it - we don't really deal with it.  And in order to move forwards, we need to properly unearth it and deal with it, so that we can stop carrying the burden of it in the present. 

 

We can leave the past in the past.

 

Paul urged his readers to forget the past and press on to the future.  But we can only forget the past and lay it to rest if we have dealt with it.  If we bury the past alive, it will always catch up with us.

"Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."

[Philippians 3:13 NLT]

 

Sometimes going over the past feels like a waste of time.  Sometimes it feels painful and pointless.

 

But if we want to jump far and take a leap of faith, we need a run-up.  And if we want a good run-up, we need to backtrack.