I rewatched 'Donnie Darko' today.
I've only seen it once before and it was a long time ago, so I didn't remember much. It is intricate and intriguing - if not rather odd - and is all about a boy who hallucinates and feels it is his responsibility to save the world.
One thing that really stood out for me whilst I was watching was a scene where one of Donnie's teachers draws a continuum across the blackboard (it's set in the 80s), with 'FEAR' on one side and 'LOVE' on the other.
Each pupil has to read out a scenario that they have been given and mark a cross on the line to show whether the action on their card is motivated by fear or love.
Everything we do, she says, is motivated by one or other of these emotions.
It got me thinking about how love and fear are opposites. And it also made me consider what motivates me the most.
I know that a lot of the time, I am motivated by fear: fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear of being too much to handle, fear of missing out, fear of being 'found out'.
I am not motivated by love.
I haven't counted, but apparently the command "Do not fear" is repeated 366 times in the Bible.
That's a lot.
I think God wants something to sink in.
What's more, John writes,
"There is no fear in love."
[1 John 4:18 NIV]
Fear and love are, as the teacher in 'Donnie Darko' pointed out so astutely, opposites. They are mutually exclusive. You cannot have both together.
Fear is crippling and it stems from a feeling of being unaccepted or unloved. Love is the antidote to fear. Not love as a fluffy fuzzy feeling, but passionate, powerful proactive love, which lays itself down for us.
The same verse in The Message reads,
"There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love."
I don't want a crippling, fearful life. I want a life that is "fully formed in love".
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