Instant Upgrade

I have spent part of this morning updating all of the apps on my phone.

 

I have had notifications for weeks that there were new versions available and I have ignored them.  But something this morning moved me to action.

 

I'm not sure that they were all necessary, but I am now fully up-to-date (for the time being).

 

About a year ago, I attempted to update the software on my phone.  However, far from being the quick and simple task that I had imagined (and which I have enjoyed this morning), after four hours, not only had my phone not updated, it had crashed and frozen.

 

I had lost all of the data on my phone.

 

Apparently my laptop only had USB ports and not USB2 ports (who knew they existed?) and so the information couldn't be transferred because the USB port wasn't powerful enough (I'm sure it's more technical than that, but that was what I gleaned after many hours on the phone to the help desk).

 

Eventually - after locating a computer with the sacred USB2 ports - I was able to save most of my data and upgrade it.

 

However, since then, although I have upgraded the apps on my phone, I have avoided upgrading the software.  I don't want to risk losing everything again.

 

I think sometimes with spiritual growth and self-awareness, we have a similar approach: we hope that there will be some sort of 'Instant Download' or 'Instant Upgrade' that we can install in our hearts with very little effort or fuss.

 

The fear in engaging properly is that, as with my phone, the 'upgrading' process might wipe all of our previous data.  It might not be a simple task, we might have to re-enter some things and accept that other things are lost.

 

It might change us.

 

When David prayed and asked God to search and test his heart, he knew that it would be uncomfortable and would change him.

 

        "Search me, O God, and know my heart;
        test me and know my anxious thoughts.
        Point out anything in me that offends you,
        and lead me along the path of everlasting life."

 

        [Psalm 139:23-24 NLT]
 

Point out anything in me that offends you.

 

I'm not sure I like that prayer.

 

It is much more comfortable and much easier and far less time-consuming to simply not bother.  So what if we don't have the latest upgrade?  Are we really missing out? 

 

Lead me along the path of everlasting life.

 

If I want to walk in the path of life, I need to choose to engage with the process of 'upgrading', no matter how time-consuming or costly or inconvenient it is.  No matter how uncomfortable it makes me, or how much effort it takes.

 

If I want the full, whole life that Jesus came to give me, I need to wrestle with the issues that are holding me back.  No matter what it takes.