My Life Is A Mess

Whenever I tidy something or have a 'spring clean', everything always looks worse, much worse, when I am half-way through.  And when it looks like that - with so many piles of stuff everywhere that you wonder where it was all hiding - I always question why I started.

 

It's at times like these when I have to fight the strong temptation to just walk away.  Or to shove it all into a box or under the bed, out of sight.

 

It seems to be, as Jane Austen would say, "a truth universally acknowledged" that things have to get worse before they get better when it comes to tidying and cleaning.  I wonder if there is some sort of science behind it all?

 

And it seems that when we are sorting things out in our hearts and in our lives, things often get messy before they get better as well.  And we have to fight the same temptation to run away and to hide our issues under the bed again.

 

Sometimes in order to sort things out and to be put back together, we need to first be taken from together.  We need to be broken in order to be properly mended.  And that is messy.

 

But God is in the mess with us.  And He will help to rebuild us.

 

      "For God is out to help Zion,

      Rebuilding the wrecked towns of Judah."

 

       [Psalm 69:35 MSG]

 

       And,

 

       "You’ll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew,
       rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
       You’ll be known as those who can fix anything,
       restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate,
       make the community livable again.

 

      [Isaiah 58:12 MSG]

 

I heard this the other day,

"Have the courage to be imperfect."

I have spent most of my life chasing perfection.  The illusive idea that if I tried just a little bit harder, if I was just a little bit better, my life might be easier/better/more fulfilling.

 

I have run from imperfection and mess.  But I am beginning to realise that it is in embracing and wrestling with the mess that we find ourselves.  And in doing so, we find contentment and fulfilment.

 

We are all works in progress.  We are all half-way through the 'sorting out' process.  We are not finished products.  We are being refined and reshaped and recast day after day after day.

 

I'm not sure I have the courage to be imperfect.  But I want to try.

 

I want to be comfortable living in the mess, because that's where the life is.